My Heart Aches..... The Damage Caused by a Dysfunctional Family!

Oldest Son, Todd

Nanette, Jordan & Enola

Sisters Enola and Tracy

As the holidays approach I think about my parents more and more.  What makes a family so dysfunctional that they can turn their back on their own child and beautiful grandchildren?  What makes parents choose to stand by one child and turn their backs on another?  I can't imagine ever turning my back on either of my four children!  I've birthed a child, adopted a child and fostered two children and they are MY CHILDREN, no matter what they do in their lives!!  You can count on the fact that there is nothing my children could ever do that would make me turn my back on them!

I spent the first 50 years of my life trying to please EVERYONE especially my parents!  Yes, I've made mistakes and I've been married far too many times.  Yet, I've never done anything illegal.  I've never had a drug or alcohol problem.  I've never been a liar or a distrustful person!  I've bent over backwards my entire life to help others.  Not everyone that I've tried to help has appreciated it, but I still helped them out of the goodness of my heart.  There was a time or two that my kindess bit me on the butt, but still, I find myself trying to help others.

Where my parents are concerned I guess I am still that little girl from years ago and wonder every single day if they ever think about me.  Do they miss me?  Do they miss the granddaughter that used to be the light of their lives? Do they regret their actions toward me? Do they feel any remorse?  Do they feel anything toward me at all? Do they regret the lies they went around and told my Aunts about me in order to make their other daughter look good?  Do they love me?

I've been told by many that it is better for me not to have such negative and back stabbing people in my life!!  But making that little girl in my heart believe this is difficult!!  I went from having a Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, 5 Aunts, 21 first cousins, and numerous 2nd cousins to nothing except my brother, Clif!!  Thank God, my dear brother knows the truth and he still loves me and checks in with me from time to time.  Growing up with such a huge family was such a great thing.  I've always loved all my aunts, uncles, and cousins and looked forward to every single family reunion.  Now, I'm not invited to any of the get togethers because of my parents.  Every year there is a family get together between Thanksgiving and Christmas and I will not be invited.  There was a reunion this past summer and of course, I wasn't invited.  It hurts me so bad, but I have to live with it and carry on for my children.

Anyone who is reading this.... NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON YOUR CHILDREN OR OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS because you have no idea how much it hurts the one that is left out!!
Your family is family no matter what transpires in yours or their lives!  You can't imagine how hurtful it is to be the one that is left out!

I know this is a pathetic sounding blog post, but I needed to get this off my chest.  I hope all of you with family troubles will remember what I've said and always try to make things right with your children and other family members!
Nanette
The Crow's Nest

P.S.  If any of my cousins are reading this..... I do believe in God & I have never worshiped the Devil as my Mother and Sister went around telling everyone!!

Being Disabled!!

 Today I have a guest blogger.  Spritequeen and I met on a site for Tethered Cord Syndrome.  I'm so lucky that I've been able to walk without the help of crutches my entire life.  When I finally had the Tethered Cord surgery to cut my Spinal Cord loose from my tailbone the surgeon told me he couldn't believe I had functioned and worked my entire life.  My surgery was 5 hours and I was in a hospital bed for 4 days and night with morphine shots every 30 minutes.  I truly did not know if I would ever walk again!!

I am a walking miracle and so thankful for this fact.  My parents knew something was wrong with me by the age of two.  I was taken to a specialist and wore corrective shoes until the age of 13.  My left leg and foot did not fully develop and I've had constant pain since the age of 12.  I've never let it stop me.... yes I've had to slow down since surgery and the pain is excruciating but I keep on going!!  

You want to talk about dirty looks when I pull into a handicapped space..... wow do I get the looks.  I hate to walk with my cane and usually leave it in the SUV.  As a child I had other children ask me why my left leg was so skinny.... I was terrified to wear dresses for this reason!!  I overcame that by trying out for majorette in high school... never dreamed I would get it... but I did.  At first I was horrified to prance around in that sequin bathing suit looking uniform.  My band director, Carol Crosslin, gave me the encouragement to overcome my fears and taught me I had leadership abilities I didn't know I had.

I am a very lucky person and I never forget that fact!!

I hope you enjoy what my friend SpriteQueen has posted.  She was also born with a Tethered Spinal Cord.  I only know of one other person besides SpriteQueen and myself with this condition.

Thanks to all of you!

Nanette

The Crow's Nest

Disability Etiquette

spritequeen.wordpress.com

« Dancing In The Rain

Disability Etiquette

October 24, 2011 by causeitcanbedone

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If you were born “normal” (with no earth-shattering illnesses/afflictions), and you were raised in a “normal” family (again, without any visible physical or mental drama), seeing things that are NOT what you’re accustomed to can be a little scary.  For that reason, I’ve decided to put together a few little tips to help people interact with others who are “different”, so the experience can be a pleasant one for everyone involved.  I truly hope the following is helpful to people who are not accustomed to being around disabled individuals.
1.  Just because someone is “different”, it doesn’t mean they’re broken.  Apologizing about that difference is offensive to the recipient.  It drives home the fact that they are considered “less”.  Instead of commiserating with someone on their difference, look for something in common, or even better, something flattering.  Do you like their shirt or hairstyle?  Maybe a cool tattoo or piece of jewelry?  Take the focus away from the differences that you see.  Not everyone has to be an Olympic athlete, and most people who have disabilities are fine with that.  Yes, there ARE hard days, but they’re going to commiserate with friends or family members – not total strangers.  Just like a “normal” person would.
2. Make sure the compliment fits.  Do people compliment you on how you walk so NORMAL or how normal your hearing or sight is?  No.  The same applies to someone with a physical disability.  For all you know, that person on crutches has been on them since they learned to stand.  It’s no different for them than it is for a ‘normal’ person to walk without them.  Don’t make it an issue.  Now, if you KNOW that the person has been injured, and you’ve followed their recovery, and you know they’ve worked hard to overcome a challenge, by ALL MEANS compliment them for their efforts.  They’ve earned the praise!

3.  Don’t throw out guesses as to why they have whatever ailment.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked if I had Polio!  Ummm…1. I’ve had that shot! 2. I’m not that old, thank you very much! LOL  For MOST people a polite “Would you mind if I asked what happened?” goes a LOT farther than “What the heck happened to YOU? Get hit by a train, or something?!”  Personally, I think it’s weird to ask a total stranger in the first place, but if you REALLY HAVE TO KNOW, be polite.
4.  Repeat after me:  ”Even people in wheelchairs can be jerks”.  It’s true! Not everyone with a disability is an angel!  Ask my ex.  He’s got all KINDS of stories about what a witch I can be!  Automatically assuming that someone with a physical or mental problem is a perfect angel is lunacy on YOUR part.  With that being said, though, there’s no need to FEAR people with these differences, either.  Just because they may look a little different doesn’t mean they’re bad.  Bottom line, use the same caution you would use in approaching ANY new relationship/friendship.
5.  Don’t stare – and don’t let your kids stare! It’s just flat-out RUDE!  There’s NOTHING to gain from openly gawking at someone who is different.  Again, if there are questions you have that you literally can’t live without the answers to, then go ask.  But staring like that makes someone feel like they’re at police headquarters in the dark room with the spotlight shining on them – and they’ve done nothing wrong.  It’s TERRIBLY uncomfortable.  There’s NO need to make someone else feel like that.
6. Don’t make assumptions on ability levels.  It’s simply not your place to decide for someone what they are, or are not, capable of doing.  Remember the quote: ‘The person who says “it can’t be done” is liable to be interrupted by someone doing it.’  
7. Don’t assume ANYTHING.  Every disability can affect every person who has one in a different way.  Do NOT assume that someone with a mental impairment doesn’t have the capacity to understand.  They may not be able to SHOW it, but that doesn’t mean they don’t GET it.  Don’t assume that someone with a physical issue can’t do something just because YOU don’t feel like you could do it in the same scenario.
8.  People with disabilities have babies, too.  I’ll be the proof of that – I’ve had three!  Just because the factory looks a little different, doesn’t mean that the conveyor belt’s not working – if ya catch my drift!  And, if you really want to know, it happens in the same way OTHER babies get delivered to their mommy’s bellies!  If you DON’T know that…I’m afraid I can’t help you there! LOL.  Google, maybe?? LOL  If you really want to be WOW’ed by that, be inspired that their kids (hopefully!) grow up “normally” and don’t become serial killers or other such TRULY scary people!
9. If you really can’t have a NORMAL conversation or interaction with someone who is physically or mentally different, just keep your mouth shut.  It really IS ok – and, actually, preferred.  Trust me, if you get all antsy and awkward, YOU’RE going to be the one looking silly – not them.
10.  Golden Rule.  Need I say more?  Treat people how YOU would expect to be treated in their shoes.  You DON’T have to cater to their every whim.  That only creates spoiled/dependent brats – just like it would any other capable person.  But, you DO have to play nice, too.  It’s all about common courtesy for EVERYONE.
P.S.  If you’d like to read some of the crazy things people have said to me (and people think I’M weird?!) check this out!  It’s funny, I promise!  (Well, unless you’re the one that said it to me.  THEN, congratulations! You’ve made it onto my “weird people of the world” page!  It’s kind of right up there with the ‘people of Walmart’ for me!)

I've Got The Music In Me!!

(Writer/Recording Artist Tim Bloodworth and Nanette)


I'VE GOT THE MUSIC IN ME!!  Remember as a teenager and young person how important music was to your life?  Music was a HUGE part of my life.  I sang in the church choir from the time I was fourteen and I played flute in the band from the age of 10.  From my earliest memories music was a part of my life.  My first favorite song was I Wanna Hold Your Hand.  I don't know what year it came out, but, I couldn't have been very old.  I was born in 1961.  After that it was Hey, Hey, We're the Monkeys!!!!  Not too long after that I was begging Mama to buy Tiger Beat Magazines for me so I could read all about David Cassidy, The Jackson's and other various pop stars at the time.  Whatever my parents listened to I knew all the words.  Whether it was Charlie Rich, Anne Murray, Johnny Paycheck, or Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass I was listening and I knew all the words to all the songs.  I remember being 10 years old on the school bus and all the older kids would get me to sing Jeremiah Was A Bull Frog.  I was the little kid always singing my heart out.  I graduated high school in 1979 and it seemed that every song on the radio touched me personally.  I can remember singing Dancing Queen as I was getting ready for Prom.  Reunited was just perfect whenever my boyfriend and I would have a little break up.  And who could forget PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOY!!  Wow!!  I love 70's & 80's music and still remember most all the words to most all the songs.  Even my 23 year old daughter absolutely loves 80's music.  We love to Karaoke and sing music from the 80's.

Sometime during the late 80's or early 90's I forgot about music.  I don't know when or how it happened, but I know for a fact it happened.  One day I turned on the radio and I didn't know any of the words or any of the songs except oldies.  I didn't even have a desire to learn the words to the songs.  I was no longer involved in church so there was no choir to sing in.  I had no desire to purchase albums.... I was dead musically....

That's what work, kids, divorce, hard times and just plain life will do to you if you let it!!  As a teenager and during my twenties I really listened to music and I learned the words and I let them soothe me through life's ups and downs.  Why I stopped doing that I do not know for sure.  I do know if I had it to do over again I would NEVER let the music stop in my life!!

I've got the music in me again and it's never going away!!  I'm playing catch up on learning thousands of songs that I've missed during the past 20 years.  This time last year I tried Karaoke for the first time and for those that know me..... I LOVE IT!!  Don't believe it.... catch the Butch and Blondie Karaoke Show at Hide Away in Elkton, TN every Friday and Saturday night!!  Also, I have another involvement in music that I'm keeping to myself right now!!  Just don't be surprised if you see me sitting in the audience at the County Music Awards in a year or two or three!!  Thank you, you guys are great!!!

To My Daughter On Her 23rd Birthday......

I remember exactly what I was doing 23 years ago today.  On Sunday the 25th your Dad and I had driven Cyndi and Wendy back to Lacy's Springs late in the afternoon.  That evening Cyndi called all excited to tell us the moon was full.  See, your MaMa Byrd kept saying I would go into labor during the full moon.  Your Dad and I ran outside with our little long haired Dachshund, Link, and I pretended to howl at the moon.  We went to bed and I woke up at 3:00am on Monday Sept. 26, 1988 and knew I was in labor.  I jumped in the shower and shaved my legs and styled my hair before I got your Daddy up. Bet that is no surprise to you, Enola.   I can remember very clearly driving through Huntsville around 4:30am that morning and how there was hardly any traffic.  I remember being so excited and thinking of how our lives were about to change forever.  I could hardly wait to hold you in my arms even though I was terrified of child birth.  It was a long and hard labor, but you have been worth a million times more pain than I went through to have you.  I remember Daddy telling me to breathe and to focus on the door knob.  I'm sure you can guess what I wanted to tell Daddy to do with that door knob.  You and I both went into distress and I can remember fading away and thinking I was going to die without holding my beautiful baby!  You didn't make your grand arrival until 7:41pm and what a beauty your were!!  Enola you were the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on.  You have made my life a complete joy and I know your Daddy and Lori both agree with me.  These 23 years have flown by for me sweetheart and I am so proud of the young woman you have become.  You are still the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on.  Happy Birthday Baby NoNo!

Happiness is Contagious

Saturday was the 3rd anniversary of my spinal cord surgery.  I actually had Tethered Cord Syndrome (google it for info) and was told I would end up paralyzed from the waist down if I didn't have the surgery.  Of course, the surgery was dangerous and could have paralyzed me instantly.  I had an 18 to 24 month recovery period.  It's been a long and hard road since that day three years ago.

What I have learned from my experience is life is precious and we all tend to take things and people for granted.  Life is short and we had better get up off our butts and live it to the fullest.  If we have a dream NOW is the time to pursue that dream because we are not getting any younger!  Life is too short to go around sad and all down in the dumps.  Get up every morning and put a smile on your face whether you feel like smiling or not.  I think 99% of the time that fake smile will become real by midday.  Always have a kind word and a smile for the people you come in contact with.  Whether it's the meter reader or your neighbor... smile and say something nice.  Happiness breeds happiness!  It is contagious, I promise!

I would bet that everyone who sees me on a regular basis thinks I am the happiest person in the world.  No one knows the heart break and difficult times I have experienced in my life.  If you knew, you would probably think I am insane for smiling all the time.  Have I ever felt like giving up?  I've come close but, have never let myself cross that line and I NEVER WILL!  I have too many things I want to do and to experience to let anything get me down!!

I will never live long enough to create and/or sew all the creations I have floating around in my head.  Since I was a young child I have loved to sing.  I forgot to sing for about 20 years and now I am relearning something I've always loved.  I can't tell you how much joy I get from sewing up something or making jewelry and giving it to someone special.  I can't tell you how good it feels to me to get up and sing a song during Karaoke and have people clap for me.  There is nothing better in the world than helping someone who is having a little trouble in their life or they are really down and out and you bring them a little happiness for a moment.

We never know what a smile or a little word of kindness can mean to a stranger or a friend!  I would love to hear from my readers.... tell me, do you smile on a regular basis?  Have you had someone smile and say kind words to you and instantly it made you feel better?

Nanette
The Crow's Nest

9/11 America Will Never Forget!!

Enola and her Dad, Jim Byrd (my ex-husband) stopped by this morning.  They were on a bike ride today in honor of 9/11!!



I was a young child when the Vietnam War ended and didn't really understand what it was all about.  My daughter's father, Jim Byrd, was actually in the Navy at the end of the Vietnam war. He was just a 19 or 20 year old kid!! His dear Mother, told me she lived in fear back then that her Son would be sent to Vietnam.  Thankfully, it never happened.  If I am remembering correctly, Jim was on the runway about to take off headed to Vietnam when the war was stopped! 

My dear grandmother,  Enola Crouch, lost a son during World War II, my Uncle Clif Crouch!!  I don't remember Pa Crouch ever speaking of my Uncle Clif or WWII.  However, he did tell stories about being in WWI.  I remember him telling me about riding his Harley motorcycle from Alabama to Maryland.  He apparently loved his motor cycle and named his 2nd son Clifton Harley Crouch.  Mama Crouch would NEVER watch anything on television that had to do with war!!  I can't imagine the heartbreak my Grandparents suffered when they lost Uncle Clif during WWII.  I guess that is where I developed my fear of war.   Also, I've been a vivid dreamer my entire life and I've been chased in my dreams by the WWII Nazi Germans!!  I've had someone suggest to me that perhaps I may have lived before as  a Jew back in those times!!  Don't know about that, but these dreams were going on as early in my life as I can remember!!  

 I clearly remember Desert Storm and how terrified I was.  My daughter was a baby and I was scared to death for our Country.   Fortunately, it was a very quick war and I was able to put it behind me and feel safe in the USA.  When 9/11 happened it changed my life forever and I'm sure the rest of America feels the same way!!  It has had a dramatic effect on my children who were 13 and 3 at the time, especially my little boy.  Jordan is now terrified of war  and has a horrible fear of having to fight in a war.  As the Mother of a boy, I am terrified my son will have to fight in a war one day.  I pray that America never has to start drafting our young men for war!!

The day of 9/11 I was in shock as I'm sure the rest of our Great Nation was.  I think I was a zombie for at least two weeks as I stayed glued to the television.  I can't remember exactly how long it was after 9/11 that the military planes started flying over my house at night.  I remember the first time it happened was during the middle of the night and we all woke up terrified and ran outside to look up in the sky.  I'll never forget the look of terror on Enola's face (she was 13 at the time).  It seems like there were a hundred planes, but I'm sure it was much less!!  The noise was deafening!!  I felt as if my nightmares were coming true and it definitely reinforced my feeling that our lives would never be the same in the USA!  I've lost count of how many times I woke up to the sound of those military planes flying overhead, but I will never forget the feeling of terror!!  After 9/11 going to an airport was kind of spooky and scary.  I couldn't believe I was seeing soldiers with guns policing the airports.  I was nearly strip searched because I forgot my pill box was in my bra with my days medication!!   I was ready to run out of the airport screaming at the top of my lungs!!

It's hard to believe 9/11 was ten years ago today!!  I find myself once again glued to the television with tears in my eyes just thinking of what all our country has been through.  The young men and women of our country who lost parents in the Twin Towers.... hearing them speak 10 years later about their loss is heartbreaking!  The parents who lost children.... The men and women who lost their spouses to 9/11.  Now, all our military men and women that have lost their lives!!  It's almost too difficult for my tender heart to think about. 


Enola and I are going to New York City for five days in December.  We are planning on visiting Ground Zero and paying our respects to our fallen brothers and sisters.  I know it will be a very emotional experience.  I've not been to NYC since 9/11 and can't imagine the Twin Towers not being there!

Have all of you felt dramatically changed since 9/11?  Have you lost that comfortable feeling that the USA is untouchable?  Do  you perhaps feel safer because of Homeland Security??  I would really love to hear from all of you about how 9/11 has affected your life and the lives of your loved ones!!  Thanks to all of you for reading my ramblings!!  I love and appreciate each and everyone of you!

Sincerely,
Nanette




P.s.  My daughter Enola is named after my grandmother, Enola Crouch.  My brother, Clif Crow, is named after my Uncle, Clif Crouch!

I dressed Patriotic Friday when I hung my flags on the front porch of the Crow's Nest!

The Buzzards Are Circling!!

Today is Labor Day!!  Back when I was in school that meant I would be starting the new school year the next day.  My 13 year old son has been back in school for a month now!!  Seems that summers are getting shorter and shorter for the school aged kids.

To me Labor Day means I can no longer wear white until next Easter.  Does anyone still follow that rule?  I'm not talking about white t-shirts or blouses, just shoes, dresses, shorts, and pants!!  I think in the big fashion world they don't really follow this rule, but here, in the South I believe most of us women wouldn't even consider wearing white after today!!  I've certainly instilled this in my daughter and she wouldn't dare wear white after Labor Day or before Easter!!

I have to wonder where this rule began.  I just know I was raised that it's not proper to wear white after Labor Day.  I love to wear white and I'm glad in the winter it is okay to wear "winter white".  For those of you reading and wondering what winter white is.... basically it is off white!! lol

I can remember as a child when girls and women ALWAYS wore dresses to church.  When I was about 14 or so we were told it was ok to wear dress pants to church on Wednesday nights.  These days you see women wearing pants and sometimes jeans to church on Sunday mornings.  I guess I am a little old fashioned..... that just doesn't seem right to me.  I know what you wear to church isn't what it's all about, but somehow, it just seems disrespectful to me!! lol

When I got up and took my little dogs out to potty Friday morning there were about 15 buzzards circling over my house and property.  It kind of freaked me out!!  I started wondering if they knew something I didn't know or if they were warning me of something.  Yeah, I know that sounds crazy!!  I started trying to remember if I had heard any old wives tales about buzzards when I was growing up, but couldn't come up with a thing.   I finally told myself they were paying their respects to my classmate, Tim Stewart, whose funeral I was about to go to!!  Thankfully, by the time I left for Athens, they were circling over my neighbors home.  Maybe there wasn't enough road kill and they were just doing a neighborhood search!!

Over the past couple of weeks I've walked out and noticed a mama deer and her baby standing in the field right next to my house.  I've seen them about three times and wished I had my camera to take a picture.  Last Friday as we were headed to The Hide Away for Karaoke we saw several deer just standing and looking at us.  We were able to stop, roll down the window and photograph them.  I want to tell them deer season is approaching and to run and hide!!

I hope everyone is having a fantastic Labor Day weekend!!  I'm rather enjoying the sound of the rain on my tin roof.  I think I will just sit here and read all day or maybe sew a little and enjoy the sound of the rain!

Wish Tam had zoomed in so you could see the deer a little better.  They just stood there and posed!

East Limestone Teachers of the 70's!!

(50th Birthday Cake with my Senior Year Majorette Picture on it!!  Top of cake says "No No Nanette" and bottom of cake says "Fabulous & Fifty"!  A great surprise from my daughter, Enola!)

I recently had the opportunity to thank one of my teachers for the impact she has had on me throughout my life and the confidence she instilled in me.  I truly believe in my heart that this particular teacher  showed me I had talent and  leadership ability which prepared me for my adult life and my career.   Would I be a different person without having been under the tutelage of this great teacher for 8 years (5th through 12th grades)?  Maybe not completely different, but I believe without the dedication and  confidence instilled in me by this teacher I would  not have had the ability to accomplish so much or handle lifes ups and downs without completely losing my mind (notice the use of the word completely)!  This  teacher taught me it was  okay to be nervous and she helped me learn to laugh at myself during those BIG, BAD AND SCARY TRY-OUTS!  Trust me, she was a tough teacher and expected the best from all of her students but, she also taught us humor and a great love for music!!   Yes, I am talking about Carol Crosslin, the greatest band director to ever teach at East Limestone.

Kids these days seem to think band is a "nerdy" class to take and what a mistake they are making.  They can't imagine the feeling of excitement when you know you are a member of  the BEST BAND IN THE COUNTY, it's a home game and we (the band) are waiting to make our grand entrance.  As a member of this band you are closely watching Ms. Crosslin, just waiting for her to give the signal.  Your heart is pounding with excitement and about to burst with pride all at the same time.   As you are marching through the parking lot to make your grand entrance on the football field to the beat of the drummers you feel like you are part of something great!!  As half-time approaches you are once again closely watching Ms. Crosslin for that signal to quietly get in line for "the Big Show".  I always liked it when the other band performed first because, I knew we were going to blow them off the field with our performance.   When it was finally our turn to perform the East Limestone fans in the bleachers would go wild!!  Even as an adult I can still remember that incredible feeling of pride.  Another thing I will never forget is East Limestone Band marching in the Inaugural Parade in Montgomery, AL in January 1979.

Marching Band was extremely hard work and it also took up many days of summer vacation but, it was more than worth it!  Concert Band was where my nervousness came about.  You had to TRY-OUT for concert band and then Ms. Crosslin would decide what chair you would be in.  First and second chair for each instrument meant you were pretty darned good!!  I'm amazed I didn't get last chair every year because I was so nervous I would be trembling.  Heck, I think the first year or two I actually cried!!  Yes, seriously I can remember being so scared I cried!    It still amazes me that Ms. Crosslin was so patient with me  year after year when I would walk in for try- outs shaking like a leaf!!  I know the last couple of years of try-outs she would see me walking in the door and would laughingly start shaking and pretending she was playing a flute.  By not getting irritated and impatient with me and instead joking with me about my nervousness she made me realize it was just a part of life for some of us (at least us nervous types).   She taught me that laughter is a great medicine!!

Now, earlier I spoke of the wonderful feeling before marching out onto that football field!!  Multiply that by 10 and you've got the feeling of pride when you are at State Competition for concert band and get all top scores!!   I can still close my eyes and see Carol Crosslin right before we would perform.....  she would be looking at us and giving little signals and looks of encouragement.  You could actually see the spirit of the music coursing through her veins as she would direct us and lead us through competition.  You could see the look of pride on her face when we would finish a piece perfectly!  The bus ride back home from Tuscaloosa was so filled with excitement and the feeling of accomplishment.  We would arrive at school and walk into that band room and a dozen roses would be waiting on Ms. Crosslin, compliments of our great principal Paul Hargrove.


When I sent my message to Carol Crosslin last week on Face Book she responded  and I want to share a little of her response with my readers:   I am so glad that you found the wonder in yourself that I saw in you and so many of my students. I always tried to take each one of you where you were and help you move into security with yourself. Whether it was on the field or in concert, I wanted you to let your light shine.


I want to say that I was lucky to have had other wonderful teachers.... Mr. Fleming, Ms. Barksdale, and Mrs. Hargrove, along with the greatest Principal, Paul Hargrove!!!  I feel sure my daughter Enola is yet to be so strongly impacted by one of her teachers.  Jordan, my son, is in the 8th grade and I fear that he will not have from his teachers what I had from mine at East Limestone.  I'm not in anyway saying teachers of today are inferior!  I simply think you are one lucky kid if you run across a "Carol Crosslin" and have the experience of such a teacher as we did in the 70's.

Nanette
The Crow's Nest






P.s. For those of you who wonder why I sing Proud Mary every single weekend during Karaoke..... it's Ms. Crosslins fault!!

I Wonder if Betty White is a BIKER CHICK Like ME!!

Well, I watched Hot in Cleveland again last night and I have to tell you Betty White cracks me up.  She is so bloomin funny on the show.  I always thought of her as being more like the character she played in Golden Girls, but apparently, she's rather a crazy little lady and always has been.  I read somewhere that she actually wanted the part of Blanche on Golden Girls and was rather pissed when she got the role of the sweet little ding bat from St. Olfa, Rose.  Apparently, in real life she is a firecracker and has a rather foul mouth.  Now, you know I don't usually write with 4-letter words, but any of you who knows me from way back knows I can cuss like a sailor!!  It appears that Betty White finally has a show where she can show her true colors and cuss when she wants!  I love it and love her!!

I think it's my Southern Belle Status that prevents me from using 4-letter words when I blog.  Jeez, one of my dear little Aunts could be reading what I write and I don't want to be an embarrassment to them.  I don't want to be an embarrassment to my children either.  Even though, Enola writes a blog that sometimes makes me blush!!  Well, not really, but I want her to think it makes me blush.  She still thinks I'm a sweet and little naive southern girl!!   Also, I want people to enjoy reading my blog and I don't want to offend anyone!!   My closest friends tell me that they have never heard anyone cuss as eloquently as I do.  They claim that you hardly even notice I'm using 4-letter words because I ooze Southern Belleness  (is that a word.... it is now)!!

Let me tell you what I did last Saturday..... As most of you have heard, Enola, Tam and I have Scooters.  I'm not talking little putt putts that go 30 miles an hour.  I'm talking big bad bikes that go 70mph (at least that is the fastest I've allowed myself to get so far).  Our Scooters are street legal and you have to get a motorcycle license and a tag and everything lol.  I've been making all these shirts that say CresentCrow Scooter Club, and Biker Chick and all sorts of silly things with my monogramming/embroidery machine.  We keep talking about how we have to get gloves and leathers and all that stuff for cold weather biking!!  So, anyway, when I arrived at Hide Away last Saturday to help Butch Menefee with Karaoke I noticed some really sexy looking motorcycles parked out front!!  I had arrived early along with Tam and Enola so there were not many people in the bar.  Rough-house (the boss man) was at the table talking to the bikers so I walked over and spoke to everyone.  I asked them if they were going to stay for Karaoke and they responded that they were just out for a little riding.  Next thing I know boss man has walked off and I'm standing alone with these 2 BIKER couples.  I mean they were for real bikers.  I casually look at them and say "My girls over there and I are BIKER CHICKS"!  Well, that kind of gets there attention and then I say "Yeah, we all just bought SCOOTERS a few months ago"!!  I could tell they wanted to bust a gut laughing so I start my witch cackle and we have a great laugh over it!!  As we talked I guess they decided I was pretty cool and they stated they were going to go home and change out 2 wheels for 4 wheels and come back for Karaoke!!

An hour or so into Karaoke I look up and in walks my 4 new biker friends.  I was so excited and ran over and gave them all hugs and got them to sign up to sing some songs!!  As the night went on we all kept talking and laughing and just having a good time!!  By this time we are all on a FIRST NAME BASIS!!    I had another group of people come in that I had personally invited and along with the regulars we had a pretty decent crowd.  We all sang, danced and had a really good time.

When my biker friends, Dan, Phyllis, Kevin and Pam got ready to leave they all hugged me and told me I could ride with them anytime I want to!!  Now that may not mean much to you non BIKER folks, but that was a great compliment for real bikers to make a scooter rider an offer to ride with them anytime!!  Hey they even got my phone number, so I think they really meant it!!  Now I just need to get my butt on my scooter and practice riding so I don't embarrass myself when I get to ride with the BIG DOGS!! lol

Life in the South is such a beautiful way to live.  I feel that everything is just a little bit slower paced than up North.  I'll never forget going to New York City for the first time..... I was astounded by how fast EVERYTHING was.  People were rude and obnoxious and it was a real culture shock!!  I know there are rude and obnoxious people every where, but, don't you agree in the South it's just a little bit more relaxed?

I appreciate all of you that read and follow my blog!!  I love reading your comments and hope you will all take the time to go back and read others comments.  You can even comment on the commenter's comments if you like!!
Sincerely,
Nanette


P.S.  My bike says VINTAGE BARBIE in hot pink on each side!!  A young man, who is a dear friend, surprised me with the lettering!!


P.S.S. I think I'm going out for a ride now, so hope I'll be able to write again soon!! lol  If you see me on the road, do not blow the horn or anything because I might run off the road!!  I need practice!!

The Deep Freezer......

In my 1900 Victorian we have a big old chest style deep freezer that we hope to fill full of vegetables and such for the winter months.  My BFF (who has actually become a sister to me), Tam and I live here with my kids and our 8 dogs!!

Nearly every time Tam and I go out into the mud room to do laundry, sort through another unpacked box or to smoke a cigarette I gravitate to that freezer and hop right up on top of it to sit.  Having this deep freezer has brought back so many childhood memories for me. 

 

The first vivid memory is when I was about 5 years old and Mama was making me a beautiful robin’s egg blue dress.  I hated that dress!  It was wool and it itched.  I remember mama standing me up on my grandmother’s deep freezer to pin up the hem of that dress.  Mama has a painting of me in her living room wearing that dress.

 

When I was around 9 or 10 years old I remember cutting out patterns and fabric on the deep freezer in our house.  Mama was sewing clothes for my younger siblings and I was the helper doing the cutting out.  I remember also, that the deep freezer was a good place to just sit and talk. 

 

 

When I was approximately 10 years old Pa and Mama Crouch moved out of the “Old House” where they had lived and birthed many of their children, including my mother the baby of 7.  Mama Crouch apparently wanted a new house so Pa Crouch got her one.  This house was a 1 story and it had a huge utility room where they put 2 stand up freezers and in the long hallway leading from the house to the garage they had a huge chest style deep freezer.

 

The chest style freezer was full of beef where they had fed and slaughtered their own beef.  We were eating Black Angus before it became such a big deal with all the restaurants.  They would always have part of the hamburger meat made into pre-formed hamburger patties!!  They thought there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do so, by that time I was allowed to cook anything I wanted while at their house.  I loved to go and get a hamburger patty out of that big freezer and fry it up in the iron skillet.  Also, Mama Crouch and I would make a big bowl of Jell-O and add a can of Fruit Cocktail and put it in the freezer to jell faster.

 

When I was about 12 years old Pa and Mama Crouch gave Mama and Daddy the “Old House” and 20 acres for Christmas.  Of course, all of Mama’s siblings received 20 acres too!   I remember we worked our tails off remodeling that house.  I thought there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do and unfortunately, Mama and Daddy discovered I was darned good at re-glazing all the panes of glass and I turned out to be a decent painter too.  It was so exciting when we moved into that house.  I had spent the first 10 years of my life with Pa and Mama Crouch in that house and I loved it.  I still love it to this day.  When I go to Mama and Daddy’s it is the best feeling.  I feel safe, loved, protected, and just plain happy.  I can almost feel Pa Crouch sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and I can see Mama Crouch in the den sewing on her Singer making something or the other.  Well, anyway the good old chest style deep freezer went right into one end of the large den (where we hung out and watched tv.  Hey, it was an important part of our lives.  We were country people and we always had a cow in the freezer! 

 

Mama would go to the Sunbeam Store and buy the day old snack cakes.  They were the ones that had the Peanut’s characters on them and she would put them in the freezer.  I remember pulling out a cherry pie and biting down on a cherry pit and breaking off a piece of one of my back teeth.  I probably didn’t tell Mama because I was afraid I would have to get a shot.  I was terrified of shots!!

 

I guess I must have been about 14 or 15 when my brother, sister, and I got off the school bus and the yard was full of chicken feathers.  Upon entering the house the table had a big  platter of fried chicken on it and the kitchen sink was full of naked and headless chickens!!   Seems like we had lots of chicken in the freezer for a while!!

 

It was also around that time or maybe a year or so later that I came home from school and my cow we had raised on a bottle was missing.  Her name was Flemingtine, in honor of one of my greatest high school teachers, Mr. Fleming.  I asked Mama where she was and she responded that they had sold her and offhandedly made a statement about cows raised on the bottle are never good for anything.  Well, two days later I answered the ringing telephone and it was Mr. Lecroix, the meat processor wanting me to tell Mama and Daddy their cow was ready.  I couldn’t believe they killed my Flemingtine and put her in the freezer.  I refused to eat one bite of my cow! 

 

Pa and Mama Crouch always kept one-hundred dollar bills in the deep freezer for safe keeping.  Now, I don’t remember how many of those bills would be in the freezer, but they were most always there. In 1980 lightening struck the propane tank at the back of Pa and Mama Crouch’s house.  The garage, utility room, and front bedroom were a complete loss.  The remainder of the house was a mess.  The fire was so hot it melted the finish off the kitchen cabinets.  Believe it or not the deep freezer survived even though it was in the middle of the fire and the one-hundred dollar bills were untouched.

 

Mama and Daddy now keep the deep freezer outside in an enclosed porch so it is no longer used as a piece of furniture to sit on.  You can most always count on the fact that it is going to be full of good food. However, I rather miss having it in the middle of the house!  Its funny how something as simple as a deep freezer can evoke so many fond memories of ones childhood. 

 

Friends with Benefits???!! Elviis, Why Didn't You Wait On Me?

Have any of you caught the show Hot In Cleveland, starring Betty White, Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves (english chick from Frazier) and Wendi Malick (from Just Shoot me)?  It's on cable, and no I can't tell you what channel, because my BFF Tam does all the remote driving!!  She has the DVR set to record Hot in Cleveland every time it runs an episode.

It is absolutely hilarious!!  Betty White is the most kick ass and funny actress on TV today, in my opinion!!  She and these other three ladies make a great combination and they are not afraid to talk about anything or do anything on the show!!  I remember one of the earlier segments I watched they had to go down into the basement (they all live in Elka's house --- Betty White's character) because of a tornado or something weather wise.  Elka is down there smoking a joint!!  Also, she has a butt load of art and other stolen items that belonged to her deceased husband, who turns out was a big mobster!! 

Anyway, last nights episode caught my attention because apparently Melanie (Valerie Bertinelli) has started writing a column for Woman's Day Magazine.  Of course, this caught my attention because I AM A WRITER!! lol  I'm sitting in my bed trying to write a blog post and I get all caught up in the show!!  The first thing that grabbed me was Melanie (Valerie Bertinelli) asking Joy  (Jane Leeves) if she thought women could have sex with no strings attached??  Joy responds that it never works with her because she's the one that weird things happen to her like mirrors falling from the ceilings revealing hidden cameras.  Elka (Betty White) responds with If the guy is a cutie you have to tap that bootie.  Turns out Elka's card playing friend Fred is actually her booty call of 20 years or so!!

This subject line really caught my attention because my daughter has been blogging about this very subject.  Of course, she is blogging about it because she just realized her "friend with benefits" stepped out on her and that's not allowed.  My understanding of this type arrangement is: you can be friends with benefits as long as you are only having sex with this one person.  If you grow tired of the situation you have to say so and be really honest and up front about it!!  I guess then the decision can be made to end the arrangement, or make an exception as long as precautions are taken!

 I don't know about all the modern up to date rules about this subject because I haven't had a situation like this in many years!!  Back in the 90's I remember having a friendship with a man like this.  I was between husbands or boyfriends and it just kind of happened.  He was a pilot and one day he called me up and had me meet him at Huntsville Airport and we flew in a 2 seater plane to Hamilton, AL where we swapped out for a 6 seater that belonged to some doctor in Huntsville.  I think we met out at a bar a time or two, but mostly it was just him coming to my place every so often on a Wednesday night when my daughter was with her Dad.   We had great conversations and I really cannot say why it didn't turn into more!! Oh, and we met through mutual friends and it ended up I had worked with his older brother when I was in my early 20's.   He eventually became a pilot for one of the big name airlines and was gone all the time.  Haven't heard from him or about him in many years!!

I'm really curious to know if there are like millions of people having these type friendships or what?   I have many friends that claim they do not want relationships because they are happy with their life without a full time partner, but they would like to have sex.......  I know for a fact you can take care of yourself sexually with all the toys and such available!!  Just ask Tam about her new job!! lol haha   So maybe it's more than just the sexual part that people are seeking.  Maybe they need to feel that one on one closeness that sex gives you!

I, myself, sometimes think I would like to have a nice man to take me out to dinner and a movie.  Maybe even give me a back rub and if they really like me a foot rub!!  I can take care of myself in the sex department better than any man I've ever met (well, okay there was this 1 man.... wow)!  I've gotten myself so into the mind set that I will remain single for the remainder of my life that I can't imagine getting seriously involved with a man again.    I don't need a man for financial reasons, so why else would I need a man??  Now, does that sound like an OLD SOUTH GIRL talking or what?   lol  Other days I think I've lost my mind and what on earth am I going to do...... grow old and die alone???  Never enjoy the companionship of a man again?  I remember back in the day when it was such a wonderful feeling for the man in my life to buy me a present for NO REASON!!  When I was pregnant with my daughter, her Daddy, would scratch my back and my head every single night!!  He even painted my toe nails for me as my belly grew!!  He never wanted me to work and just wanted me to be happy!!  I was a dumb ass, but guess what.... that wonderful man and his beautiful wife of 16 years are two of my best friends in the world!!  My children and I had Thanksgiving dinner at their home last year!!  We have truly made a family with all the ex's and the kids and we truly love each other!!  Most people think we are crazy!!  We think we are smart because we created emotionally healthy children by being this way!!

So, back to me and me alone...... what's wrong with me that I've not dated in 3 years (since my husband died)?  Is it because I've had 5 marriages with 4 divorces and now I'm a widow?   Am I afraid to emotionally put myself out there because I just can't take more heartbreak?  Am I just jaded and cold hearted toward the idea of a relationship?  Do I miss having a man in my life other than my 13 year old son???  Just let me say in answer to that.... there is no better feeling in the world than to have a man that loves you and that you love hold you and hug you tight!! I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about that wonderfully comforting feeling of someone that loves you just hugging you tight and making you feel safe and sound! Unlike most people, the older I get the more it is about closeness and hugs and back rubs and such (notice I didn't mention giving back rubs and such lol)!!  It's just not so much about sex in my mind any more!!  When I really let myself think about it deeply I realize that I do miss having someone that makes me feel safe and protected..... I miss the feeling that I don't have to worry about anything because my big strong man will make it all ok.  I miss knowing that someone loves and cares about me so much that they will put up with my weirdly bizarre eclectic ass!!  I do wonder if this is the Southern Girl in me talking.  

When I was growing up the fairy tales pretty much indicated that a prince on a big beautiful white horse would come and save me and we would live happily ever after!!  Who started telling this bullshit to little girls!!!  Also, all the Elvis movies I watched as a little girl indicated to me that I would meet Elvis on a beach some where and he would love me forever!!  What the heck, he died when I was 17 before I had the chance to meet him!!

On the other hand, I can't imagine having to rearrange my home and my roommates for a man.  I can't imagine having to explain why or how I'm doing something to a man.  I can't imagine having to think about what to cook for dinner everyday because "MY MAN" will be hungry when he gets home!!  I can't imagine a man telling me I can't have 8 dogs in the house, if that's what I want!!

Jeez, I've gotten a little weirdly crazy while writing this blog post!!    I truly would love to get your comments and feedback on this blog post!!  I would like to know how the rest of the South feels about my views on relationships!!  Oh, and don't forget to give your view on Friends with Benefits!!





Thanks to all of you, my great friends!!
Nanette

P.S. I may still be feverish which would explain the ramblings of this particular blog post!!

I Am a Sassy Gal!!

Anyone who knows me will probably agree that I'm quite SASSY!!  I've never thought of myself as sassy, but lately it's been brought to my attention that the "sassy" shoe fits me!!  I don't remember being sassy as a little girl.  I just remember being very shy and always wanting to hang out with my slightly older cousins (they were so cool).   My cousins played instruments in the school band and were majorettes, cheerleaders, and drum majorettes, therefore, I wanted to do the same.  I had a hand-me-down baton from one of my cousins that was way too long for me, but I mastered twirling it and did ultimately, become majorette my Junior year of high school.  I was head majorette my senior year and I also played flute in concert band.  Back in the 70's when I was in school being majorette (cheerleader, football player, etc...)  was a pretty big deal, so,  you would think it would have made me a little sassy!!  Well, it didn't!!  I may have appeared to be sassy, but inside I was screaming and wondering what on earth I was doing parading around in front of hundreds of people in a sequin bathing suit (which is what it amounted to).  I was so afraid someone was going to look at my legs and realize the left one was smaller than the right one!!  That was all I could think about.... well of course, I wanted to NOT drop my baton, but the fear of someone noticing my leg and foot was the main thought in my mind!!  Would you believe from 7th grade through 10th grade I never wore shorts to summer band practice???!!!  I was absolutely terrified of someone looking at my legs and commenting!!  It ruled my life!!  I actually realized I had a problem and I was smart enough to know I needed to get over it.  That was the entire reason I made myself go out for majorette to begin with!!  You couldn't be a majorette and wear long pants all the time!!  I started out a skinny little scared girl that was afraid someone would notice her even skinnier left leg and smaller left foot.....  And I ended up a much more confident young woman.

During my 20s and 30s I guess I was a little on the SASSY side.  I remember my daughter's Dad telling me one time that it was probably a good thing I had the "skinny leg" problem to tone me down a bit!!  He seemed to think I would have been hell on wheels if not for the BIG FLAW with my leg and foot!!  Don't get the wrong idea here..... it wasn't that I was a wild and crazy kind of girl in a negative sort of way..... it was more that I felt like there wasn't anything in life I couldn't do and I wanted to do it all!!  I started my own Property Management business and worked 24/7 for 16 years.  I hardly ever took the time to smell the roses!!  Honestly, if not for my back surgery in Sept. '08 I would probably still be going WIDE OPEN!!

Now that I look back on those days, I feel that I probably missed many things in life including time with my children!!  I never took my children on a fabulous vacation because I was on call 24/7 for 16 years!!  I've never taken my children to Disney..... heck I've barely ever taken them out of town.  You want to talk about regretting your past..... I regret working so much!!

Friends of mine in Pulaski (Terry and Danielle) have just opened a new place called Sassy Gals Cafe.   They are trying to pull this off without getting outside financing, so Tam and I told them just to call if they need help!!  They called last Friday and Tam has been working in their kitchen since last Saturday.   I figured I could go and wait tables during the lunch crowd because, hey, I'm really good at dealing with people and I am definitely a SASSY GAL!!   I showed up Monday and helped out from 10 to 3 and then went home and did just a little house work.   On Monday  I was feeling a little pain and thought if I got enough sleep I would be fine!!   On Tuesday (yesterday) I helped out from 10 to 2 and by the time I got home I was worn out.  I did a few dishes and hung a load of clothes on the clothes line.  By 9:00 last night I wanted to cry, but I felt too tired.   Why did I want to cry?  Because I wasn't feeling very Sassy and I was pissed that my body wasn't keeping up with my mind!! lol   Today I was unable to help out at Sassy Gals Cafe, but I had my friends, Russell and Matt, drive me there to surprise Tam for her birthday.  Oh, yeah, Tam, is 44 years old today!!  Happy Birthday to Tam!!  Anyway, we picked up a couple of balloons and went to Sassy Gals for lunch!!   While there for lunch I started having chills and realized my throat is really sore.... that's great!!  Seriously, that is great because maybe that is why I'm so worn out from a few simple hours of helping friends!!  Maybe the real reason is because I'm sick with strep throat or something and it's not the fact that my body can't handle it!!

I believe I am still a SASSY GAL, even though I couldn't hang with the other sassy gals for more than 2 days.  I refuse to let life or the things she can throw at you beat me!!  I will keep on doing everything I can possibly do myself and I will keep telling myself I AM A SASSY GAL!!

lol

Nanette
The Crows Nest

For those of you wondering why I have a difference in my legs and feet..... I was born with Spina Bifida Occulta and a Tethered Spinal Cord!!  You will have to look the definition up if you want to know the details!!

Country Dwellers!!

If you are a country dweller like me, how many times have you had someone from the city ask why on earth you want to live so far away from everything and everyone?   I've been asked that question numerous times.  Now, let me say when I was 18 I couldn't wait to get the heck out of the country.  I wanted to live in the big city of Huntsville, AL.  I wanted a home with all the modern conveniences that we didn't have in the home I grew up in.  You know things like central heating and cooling and a dishwasher!!  I wanted to live where it's wasn't allowed to hang your clothes out on a line!!  I wanted to be able to use all that electricity to dry clothes and run the dishwasher!!  I spent 20 years living that life until I realized I wanted to be back in the country where I could grow a garden and hang clothes on the line!! 

For the past 12 years I've been back in the country and I can honestly say I have NO DESIRE to live in the city again!!  I love being able to get out of bed in the mornings and walk out onto my front porch in my nightgown and not be worried about being arrested for indecent exposure!!  We cut the grass in daisy dukes and a bikini top and it doesn't seem to offend anyone  (I am 50 years old --- not like a 25 year old strutting her stuff).  Every time we see Mr. Jerry from the water department he honks the horn and yells out hello!! Do you city folks know your water department man?  I bet not!! From time to time when we are sitting on the front porch someone passing by will stop and have a glass of tea with us.  Nine times out of ten we don't know these folks until they stop and introduce themselves and have a glass of tea with us.  Now, how often does that happen in the city???  On a couple of occasions when the lawn mower wouldn't start or I got the big U-Haul stuck in the driveway most everyone passing by stopped to see if they could help!!  It's amazing how the trucks these men drive can pull a 28 foot U-Haul out of the mud where I've gotten it stuck! lol   In the city they wouldn't give two hoots about helping you and would definitely report you to the city if the grass gets a little too tall!!

True story..... this past week dear friends of mine who live in the really nice part of a city bought their 12 year old son a new bicycle so he could ride back and forth to school.  Less than 24 hours later when he is riding home from school the next day, two other boys jumped him (in his own driveway) apparently with the intentions of stealing the new bicycle!!  My friends son suffered a broken arm and contusions on his legs.  Those hoodlums would have probably hurt him even worse and taken his new bicycle if the neighbor across the street had not noticed what was going on.  Apparently, one of those boys had already been expelled from school even though they have only been in session about a week.  I may not have this part of the story 100% correct, but I believe when they called the local police department they were told since it was Juveniles it would have to be handled through an attorney!!  Now, why on earth would you have to spend money on an attorney to get justice for bullies beating up your child and breaking his arm.  Isn't assault a crime?  Doesn't it seem like with witnesses (grown neighbors) that the law should have gone and picked that punk up and thrown him in a cell?  Or at least requested the parents bring the child to the jail for a visit??!!   Oh, then to top it all off the Mother of the boy who was apparently the ring leader calls the Mother of the child who was hurt and starts to rant and rave and call her names!!  My friend simply said something to the effect  of see you in court...... and hung up!!

In the twelve years that I've raised my children out here in the country neither of them have experienced anything of a violent nature from other children.  I hope it remains that way, but if it doesn't I will fully expect the local law enforcement to do their job.  If my son were to ever show violent tendencies toward another child such as what happened to my friends child I would jerk his butt up and take him to the jail myself!  Then he would probably be grounded for the remainder of his teenage years!!

I seriously don't expect violence among the children out here where we live.  I truly believe bringing your children up in the country is the way to go!

I love to hear my readers comments and stories so, feel free to post if you have a story you would like to share!

Nanette
The Crow's Nest

Shannon Mislead Keith???!! Part 5 of ONLINE DATING

 This blog post contains sexual content, so, if you will be offended, please do not read this particular post!!  Thanks
Okay, friends and followers, this is the biggie!!  This is the entire story from Shannon's point of view.  This is straight from the horses mouth!!   This is part 5 in my series about ONLINE DATING




It began, groovy enough, however, it ended with a kind of trauma, that doesn’t just go away.  Let me start at the beginning and clip along to the point.  (Names and places of these events may be changed to protect the innocent.)

I have two words for you, Online Dating.  Two of the most dangerous words in the modern English language today.  Let me explain…

I know this girl, her name is Shannon, and she met this groovy dude from a stoner’s forum.  That’s right, I said stoner.  Shannon is in fact a stoner, which automatically makes this story funny.  Shannon is bored one night and finds a groovy website called High Life, and she meets a guy named Keith over a debate about telepathy.  After a very stimulating debate, Shannon finds she is attracted to  Keith’s mind… and fast forward 3 years….

After being online friends for a couple years Keith and Shannon start flirting and this, of course, leads to the two of them choosing to try to have a Long Distance Dating Relationship.   A little back ground here, Shannon is 13 years older than Keith and has a rule that she never dates younger men!  Ever.  But she (stupidly) breaks this rule for a chance to see if the online chemistry (Keith is good at giving online steam) is as good in person as it is on a computer screen.  Keith lives in Louisiana and Shannon lives in Arkansas.  Things get pretty interesting and finally Keith decides to come visit Shannon for a weekend.  Shannon spends an enormous amount of time earning extra cash for this weekend because she wants to get  a hotel room for the first night, so they can get to know each other without Shannon’s friends/family/roommates watching, and teasing her unmercifully, and yes she planned on banging his brains out too.  Shannon was very excited and counted the days till Keith arrived.  They talked very intensely and sometimes very erotically for  weeks, waiting for this.  Then the big day comes and Shannon goes to the airport to pick him up.  She text her BFF and lets her know that she is at the airport, and text again letting her know she is waiting for the plane to land….. She is of course excited and nervous too….  She stands by a column in front of the gate waiting and then he appears.  She has kept her shades on and was glad, because she knew the surprise in her eyes couldn’t be hidden…..  Shannon doesn’t text her BFF again for some time to come. Keith did not look like any of his pictures. He looked young, and very small, though he was NOT 4 and a half feet tall…..  Turns out the camera lies.  Although…. Shannon thought to herself,  “The camera never lied for her.“  And a faint buzzing started in the back of her head, though she ignored it. But whatever, looks aren’t everything.  Right?  So they say hello a little awkwardly, then headed  to the hotel. 

Folks, things went down hill from there.

So they are at the hotel and they are smoking a little weed and Shannon is surprised that he has so much trouble with the pipe, he even quits after 2 hits and says, “That weed is awful.”  Yeah, sure the weed is the problem, of course, that’s the problem here, she thinks to herself….. But ok, whatever, and they start their hand holding and Shannon runs her hands up his arms and squeezes his upper arms and Keith says, “Oow..”  in a soft little surprised sound.  Apparently she hurt him.  But whatever.  Shannon was still game here and had also been without a sex life, for 18 months, and isn't deterred easily, from what she wants.   So….the night goes on and the two of them get down to the nitty gritty of joyous part of sex and Keith says, I'm going to put a condom on, Shannon says , ‘Do that.’  This is where things start to go, further south.  Keith has a hard time getting the condom on.  No the condom is not too small, at all, he just doesn’t seem to know how to operate a condom.

Shannon starts to offer to do it for him, but stops herself when he, seeing she was about to say something made a negative “don’t” sort of sound.   After he finally gets the thing on, Shannon isn’t really in “burning hot for him” mode, or in this case, “yeah sure, I have nothing better to do” mode, any longer.  But she gives it the old college try anyway, turns out he really didn’t need Shannon there at all, as he couldn’t get his penis in the proper place.  That didn’t slow him down at all, in fact he didn’t seem to notice this at all, which had Shannon biting her tongue, to keep from laughing out loud.

The look on his face, as he went at it like a little Jack rabbit, was comical, to say the least.  Shannon, as a rule, usually doesn’t keep her thoughts to herself, its just not natural for her.  But something about Keith's demeanor just kept her from voicing her thoughts aloud, for fear of hurting him emotionally….I know, strange right? And then he was done, tired….  And Shannon had not participated in the least and Keith had not even noticed.  That warning buzzer in the back of her head got a tiny bit louder……

Let’s go eat dinner.

Shannon, who’s been around the block a few times, possesses a pretty colorful past, is a strong gal and she can handle herself.  While waiting to be seated at a local restaurant, a tipsy fellow that was asked to leave, nearly stumbled right into Keith, so Shannon threw her arm out to catch the man, keeping Keith unharmed as she had a thought that it might truly hurt him.  The tipsy fellow said, thanks man, and continued on his way, out the door and the Hostess actually said to Shannon, “Nice muscle, there.” while giving her a thumbs up.  When Shannon caught the look on Keith's face (surprised) she knew the night was going to be strange, even for her.  His eyes were very wide and he didn’t seem to want to meet Shannon’s eyes and avoided looking at her for, a few moments.  Then it gets interesting.

Once they were seated, ordered and had a very nice meal, good conversation and then it happened.   Now first let me say that Shannon had conflicting feelings about all this.  Let me explain…..

So the waitress lays the check beside Keith and Keith picks it up and divides it out.  He says, you owe 16 dollars for your half.  Shannon is thinking to herself, ‘He isn’t going to buy her a meal?’  But she is a progressive, modern woman, that can pull her own weight, but still, ‘He wants to go Dutch? WTF?’ See? Conflicting feelings.  But ok, she can do this, nothing wrong with paying for herself, etc. Whatever.  Shannon can hear that faint buzzer in the back of her mind that began the moment she got an up close and in person look at Kevin at the airport, getting louder,  only now it has a mechanical voice, whispering, ‘Danger Will Robinson, Danger.’  But Shannon is a trooper if nothing else and she just rolls with it, though she knows her BFF would not like it one little bit….

Let’s fast forward two hours later.  They are naked and working on some nice steamy mattress mamba sex, at least Shannon is trying to.  Remember she still, hasn‘t had her bell rung yet.  She has him turn over and begins to give him a back rub.  She is getting into it and he really seems to like it also.  She slowly drags her hands down his back, edging closer and closer to his ass cheeks….He is making all sorts of ’that feels great’ noises and Shannon slides down his legs where she is straddling him to reach his ass cheeks for the real turn on massaging.

And it happens.  OMG!!  No, No!!

Right there, next to his ass crack is a dark spot about the size of Shannon’s thumb.  She asks herself, ‘Is that a birthmark? A mole, maybe? Please let it be a mole.’  she begs silently.  Of course, she has a hard time hearing herself think because of the screaming inside her head.  “RUN! DON’T LOOK! RUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!“  But she feels trapped by the circumstance of her present, set by her own reckless online fun, of the past few weeks. She can not escape this moment. Yes that’s right, He has a piece of shit on his ass and it’s SHINNY.  Never can Shannon un-see this, never can Shannon contemplate the joys of a hot fudge Sunday again, all is forever tainted by this one moment.

But how does she get past this moment? What should she do? Should she tell him?  But no, can’t tell him, he has already demonstrated that he has issues with being embarrassed. Can’t tell him. So? What? What should she do?

In her panic she chooses the road of least resistance, as her hands jerkily move away from his ass, WAY, away from his ass…She smacks the bed and says with an over bright smile, “Let’s shower!”  Being so submissive, Keith doesn’t question this, he just jumps up and runs to the bathroom and Shannon, steps close to the door and says, “Oh, you go ahead, this bathroom is so small, Ill get one in, after you.” smile frozen in place.

Shannon, in desperate need of lots of drugs and, or alcohol, grabs her cigarettes and steps out the door to smoke.  She briefly considers texting her BFFs for help, but after some deep breathing exercises, thinks she can handle the rest of the night if she just gets stoned enough……  Of course, the thoughts of what her BFFs are going to say isn't pleasant.  I'm thinking.... they tried to warn me..... OMG they are going to say.... I TOLD YOU SO!!!

The next day…

I wont bore you with the argument Shannon had with house keeping, because it really has no baring on this story except to illustrate how on edge Shannon was….Once she realized the house keeper didn’t speak English, taking out her frustrations on him seemed anti-climatic, if you’ll pardon the pun….

Remember folks this is an entire weekend that Shannon has committed to, therefore, when she pulls up to her home the next morning, it’s with Keith in tow.  Her BFFs are not at home at the moment (much to Shannon‘s despair), so she and Keith hang out, mostly it is Shannon trying to find stuff to talk about, or things to show Keith so he would just stop trying to be all lovey, dovey and keep his damn hands to himself.  Shannon mentally sends messages to her two best friends, begging them to hurry up and get home.  Now, y'all have to understand, that Shannon has also realized that Keith is a strange bird (even for her), he has a photographic like memory and is extremely perceptive, though he comes to the incorrect conclusions, about  the reasoning behind her behavior. He has an air of innocents as well, that most men in their 30’s do NOT have.  So she knew she couldn’t tell her friends anything while Keith was still a guest in their home.  He would pick up on it and she really did not want to hurt his feelings…

Finally they return home and Shannon practically runs to the door to let them inside, she grabs bff #1 and hugs her hard, then bff #2 she grabs and hugs, just as hard. Then they get a good look at Keith and both have to turn away and pretend to put stuff they bought up, so that they could regain their composure.  As mentioned before, Keith does NOT look like his pictures.  BFFs are notorious for knowing when something is up with their bff.  These two did not let Shannon down.  They knew something was up.  They each try to make conversation with Keith and when they realized he was not that social they turned to other things, heh.  Shannon decides to cook, because she loves to cook.  After fixing them a meal and serving everyone a pretty tasty stir fry, Keith tells Shannon, “It was alright.”  Shannon is more pissed about this than the trauma she had already survived.  She thinks to herself, ‘Alright?’ Who says that? Even if it tasted like ass, which it did not, he should have said, ‘Awesome meal!’ Am I right? Am I?

During the rest of the day, Shannon watches while her bffs start to get ready for their night out to the local pub.  In walks Shannon's 13 year old nephew and his 10 year old best friend who join them and the conversation turns to the joys of ‘dingle berries’ and the 32 other names the two of them have come up with for shit missed in their shorts.  Of course y'all can imagine the look on Shannon’s face while she laughed so hard that she thought she might pass out.  And remember that no one but she, knows about the trauma she experienced the night before.  Then we make fun of the  words that sound funny that are actually mental disorders (no offense meant to anyone that has mental disorders, but this applies so just wait for it.)  The subject came up from my BFFs just trying to make any kind of a conversation and they started talking about how they studied for a psychology test.  Throughout all of this, Shannon nearly pees in her pants because her laughter is bordering on hysterical, and she has no one to share it with yet.

As her 2 BFFs are walking out the door for their night out, she hugs them again as if they are leaving for good, never to be seen again.  They both look at Shannon with concern and even ask her again if they would like to come along. That voice in Shannon’s head is of course, still screaming ‘Don’t leave me! Please, don’t leave me!!’ But being a trooper she just smiles and says out loud, “No, I think we are going to watch a movie.’  And as she closes the door she takes a deep breath to go back and sit down beside Keith, but before she can even release her breath he says to her, “Baby, come sit with me I want to tell you something.” 

Shannon sits braced for something, though she isn’t sure what exactly, I mean Shannon is ready to hear absolutely anything, and prays briefly that it isn‘t that he likes to dress up in women’s clothes or some other happy shit……He tells her that he has Asburgers (a form of Autism).   Once again, the Fates have surprised Shannon.  She had not even imagined this revelation.  But as she absorbs this, images are popping into her minds eye, things that have happened ever since she picked him up at the airport.  It is starting to all fall into place and make a kind of sense.  He wants Shannon to know he has cured himself, and she gives him a look (apparently) and he rephrases his statement to, “I have been successful at managing my condition.”  So, ok, she says, ‘Hmmp.” What else is there to say?

She also briefly wonders if he is a virgin, which would explain the sex, or lack there of.  Then she wishes for an earthquake to open the ground beneath her and swallow her whole. Jeez, she realizes she may have corrupted this innocent guy.  Has she become the cliche?  Is she now a Cougar? Worse, has she become the stealer of innocents?

It just can't stop..... it just keeps on....

They began to make out again (the why’s of this aren’t important) and she is trying to get into it, she really was, but things keep flashing into her head.  The SHINNY. The ouch. The check.  The obsession with movies and how they imitate life (haven’t mentioned that part yet, but yes he had a real obsession with how our lives were like a movie)The Asbergers.  The lack of resemblance to his pictures. The ENTIRE disaster of the weekend……. and her ‘switch’ gets flipped to off, and will not come back on.  She doesn’t say anything at first (simply tries to figure out a plan of action), but then Keith says something that makes her realize he will know something is wrong and she doesn’t want him to know this just yet.  He says, “I memorized all of your hot spots on your body last night and now they aren’t working the same.”  Memorized her spots? She thinks to herself.  For the love of Pete, can this get any worse?  Really?

Shannon begs for an instant death of any sort  before saying brightly, “Thirsty?”  He asks for a beer  (she figures she is already going to burn for one kind of corruption to an innocent, why not add more to it) and she sure needs one, so she grabs a couple bottles and they sit sipping (actually Shannon pretty much, kills hers) and just talking about nothing.  Shannon remembers she has promised him stars and she figured that would take up a couple hours at the least, so takes him out side to lay under the night sky and look at the stars, in a country sky.

Next day…..

First of all we could not sleep in the camper as planned.  He was obviously weirded out by the camper.... No choice but to take him back into the house to the spare bedroom even though the BFFs expected them to be in the camper!! The night seemed long to Shannon as they slept in the same bed again, but she managed to fake sleep well enough that he finally went to sleep too.  His flight back to his home is early so they get up and get ready before the BFFs are awake....... and Shannon takes him to the airport….but wait, he forgets his boarding pass and they have to come back and get it.  She starts to insist he put gas in her truck (he sure expected her to pay for her own meal), but decided if she can just get him to the airport, all will be ok.  She finally gets him there and gives him a good kiss bye bye, and says, ‘Well, Im gonna go now. Have a good flight…..bye now” and practically flees from the airport. All she wants to do is get home to tell her friends about the events of the weekend that they do not yet know……..over pancakes, of course…..and possibly later consume lots of alcohol.  This is their Sex in the City girl talk #44.….and the laughter continues.



I would like to make sure everyone knows that Keith was a very nice man, a good guy with an air of innocence that Shannon is sure she tarnished, somewhat..  He was simply not the guy for Shannon and she broke things off with him immediately, wished him luck and blah, blah.  He wasn’t very pleased with Shannon, even told her that he felt mislead.  That’s right, he was mislead.

Moral of this story?  Fantasies are fun, but they are not real!  And I guess maybe Shannon learned that she should listen when others are telling her to be careful!!  Shannon has also learned that laughter is the best medicine, so, she hopes that you will all join in and share your stories too.  Then we can all laugh at each other!!






From Nanette
We know more than one person with Autism and love them dearly.  None of us can change the Genetic Disabilities we were born with. However, we can be honest about them especially with someone we think we might want to spend a lifetime with.  This series of blogging is in no way making fun of a disability.  It is however, making fun of ONLINE DATING!!


I love getting your comments and welcome all of you to join in and add your stories in the comment area, if you so wish!!

Thanks,
Nanette
The Crows Nest