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| Oldest Son, Todd |
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| Nanette, Jordan & Enola |
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| Sisters Enola and Tracy |
I spent the first 50 years of my life trying to please EVERYONE especially my parents! Yes, I've made mistakes and I've been married far too many times. Yet, I've never done anything illegal. I've never had a drug or alcohol problem. I've never been a liar or a distrustful person! I've bent over backwards my entire life to help others. Not everyone that I've tried to help has appreciated it, but I still helped them out of the goodness of my heart. There was a time or two that my kindess bit me on the butt, but still, I find myself trying to help others.
Where my parents are concerned I guess I am still that little girl from years ago and wonder every single day if they ever think about me. Do they miss me? Do they miss the granddaughter that used to be the light of their lives? Do they regret their actions toward me? Do they feel any remorse? Do they feel anything toward me at all? Do they regret the lies they went around and told my Aunts about me in order to make their other daughter look good? Do they love me?
I've been told by many that it is better for me not to have such negative and back stabbing people in my life!! But making that little girl in my heart believe this is difficult!! I went from having a Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, 5 Aunts, 21 first cousins, and numerous 2nd cousins to nothing except my brother, Clif!! Thank God, my dear brother knows the truth and he still loves me and checks in with me from time to time. Growing up with such a huge family was such a great thing. I've always loved all my aunts, uncles, and cousins and looked forward to every single family reunion. Now, I'm not invited to any of the get togethers because of my parents. Every year there is a family get together between Thanksgiving and Christmas and I will not be invited. There was a reunion this past summer and of course, I wasn't invited. It hurts me so bad, but I have to live with it and carry on for my children.
Anyone who is reading this.... NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON YOUR CHILDREN OR OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS because you have no idea how much it hurts the one that is left out!!
Your family is family no matter what transpires in yours or their lives! You can't imagine how hurtful it is to be the one that is left out!
I know this is a pathetic sounding blog post, but I needed to get this off my chest. I hope all of you with family troubles will remember what I've said and always try to make things right with your children and other family members!
Nanette
The Crow's Nest
P.S. If any of my cousins are reading this..... I do believe in God & I have never worshiped the Devil as my Mother and Sister went around telling everyone!!
Although, I am technically not kin to you anymore, I still consider you family and a friend. When others turned their back on me, you did not and I will always appreciate that. The truth always comes out, it just might take it a while. Truth does not own a watch. Hang in there! Love ya! Sandra Z
ReplyDeleteBaby, you're my family now, my sister to my soul. Those are MY nephews, my niece and Enola is my best friend and my family too. My heart hurts for you, reading this blog. I do not know how your parents feel but if they do not feel anything then it is their loss. And such a huge loss for them too. I love you so much and will always be here for you, always!
ReplyDeleteHi Sandra, Ive heard Nanette refer to her cousin Sandra a million times and feel like I know you. You are awesome too girl!!
ReplyDeleteThat is so sad. I have such fond memories of your family. I know your parents love you. I am sure that you are not having devil worship or wicken services on your porch. You could not sacrifice a black cat. I know that you were raised to love God and Jesus and do good to others. Your parents most likely are afraid of the changes that you have made in your life. Its kind of like if Enola decided to go live in a commune and worship some crazy man. It would be very hard to understand her choice and you would feel such pain. You would not understand her choice and it would scare you. Usually fear of the unknown is the culprit, Your parents just do not understand your choices and they are afraid. Your mom will always love you. She may not be able to show it because of her fear of your choices. Fear and misunderstanding ruin lots of relationships. Your mom and dad have always worked hard to take care of their family. I do not have an answer to your situation but I do know your heart. You are a good person and so are your folks. We must pray that God can mend the fence because you are all missing out on so much. Love, Carol
ReplyDeleteah u couldnt have said it better i totally agree with you i wonder how my dad can live with himself everyday not having anything to do with me and my brother and not having the pleasure of spending time with his beautiful grandkids but its on him you know we still have to move on and i feel like i have grwon into a beautiful lady
ReplyDeletei understand fully my family has done nothing but hurt me and my children my own mother didn't want me when i was born i my aunt and uncle raised me even tho my so called mother lived on the next block over she chose to stay with a man that abused me when i was 12 and turned her back on me i proved my self by becoming what she wasn't a good mother a good provider to my kids then i move here to try and have a relationship with her but to many years have past for that she has chosen her other kids and has had nothing to do with me or my children so i understand the hurt and betrayal caused by family that;s why i chose to walk my own path in life and be the best mother and friend that i can be yes im lonely but i am happy
ReplyDeleteMy dear sweet friend, I have the same dysfunction in my family partly because of my behavior and partly things on their behalf. My heart will never heal. I can say in all honesty I do understand and know how you feel altho I won't go into details. However I will say I truly love and care about you and consider you my family. You are so precious to me. Love forever and always, Rhonda...
ReplyDeleteHey Carol, thanks for your post!! The funny thing is.... I've not made changes to my life except I no longer live it to please everyone else.... which has really made no difference in how I live my life. I'm the same loving and kind hearted person I've always been. They have no fear of how I'm living my life.... they just didn't want to accept the truth about one of their other children, so they chose to make up lies about me instead. In the end it all came out in court that I had told nothing but the truth. However, I will never forget my own Mother getting on the witness stand and out right lying about me in order to cover for her other daughter. That's what hurts so bad.... that my parents would cover and stand by their child that has been a drug addict most of her life at the cost of throwing away their other child and grandchildren. I have never had a drug or alcohol problem and I've never been a liar. Yes, I've been married 5 times and I'm ashamed of that fact, but I can say that each marriage I went into it with the thought that it would be for the rest of my life. I've not even dated since the death of my last husband 3 and 1/2 years ago.
ReplyDeleteI'm really curious what you meant when you said they might not be able to show their love for me because of their fear of my choices. I truly do not know what that means! Are they are afraid I will be honest about things other than my siblings drug abuse? I'm very puzzled by this? Please write me back and tell me what you mean.
Thanks,
Nanette