Friends with Benefits???!! Elviis, Why Didn't You Wait On Me?

Have any of you caught the show Hot In Cleveland, starring Betty White, Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves (english chick from Frazier) and Wendi Malick (from Just Shoot me)?  It's on cable, and no I can't tell you what channel, because my BFF Tam does all the remote driving!!  She has the DVR set to record Hot in Cleveland every time it runs an episode.

It is absolutely hilarious!!  Betty White is the most kick ass and funny actress on TV today, in my opinion!!  She and these other three ladies make a great combination and they are not afraid to talk about anything or do anything on the show!!  I remember one of the earlier segments I watched they had to go down into the basement (they all live in Elka's house --- Betty White's character) because of a tornado or something weather wise.  Elka is down there smoking a joint!!  Also, she has a butt load of art and other stolen items that belonged to her deceased husband, who turns out was a big mobster!! 

Anyway, last nights episode caught my attention because apparently Melanie (Valerie Bertinelli) has started writing a column for Woman's Day Magazine.  Of course, this caught my attention because I AM A WRITER!! lol  I'm sitting in my bed trying to write a blog post and I get all caught up in the show!!  The first thing that grabbed me was Melanie (Valerie Bertinelli) asking Joy  (Jane Leeves) if she thought women could have sex with no strings attached??  Joy responds that it never works with her because she's the one that weird things happen to her like mirrors falling from the ceilings revealing hidden cameras.  Elka (Betty White) responds with If the guy is a cutie you have to tap that bootie.  Turns out Elka's card playing friend Fred is actually her booty call of 20 years or so!!

This subject line really caught my attention because my daughter has been blogging about this very subject.  Of course, she is blogging about it because she just realized her "friend with benefits" stepped out on her and that's not allowed.  My understanding of this type arrangement is: you can be friends with benefits as long as you are only having sex with this one person.  If you grow tired of the situation you have to say so and be really honest and up front about it!!  I guess then the decision can be made to end the arrangement, or make an exception as long as precautions are taken!

 I don't know about all the modern up to date rules about this subject because I haven't had a situation like this in many years!!  Back in the 90's I remember having a friendship with a man like this.  I was between husbands or boyfriends and it just kind of happened.  He was a pilot and one day he called me up and had me meet him at Huntsville Airport and we flew in a 2 seater plane to Hamilton, AL where we swapped out for a 6 seater that belonged to some doctor in Huntsville.  I think we met out at a bar a time or two, but mostly it was just him coming to my place every so often on a Wednesday night when my daughter was with her Dad.   We had great conversations and I really cannot say why it didn't turn into more!! Oh, and we met through mutual friends and it ended up I had worked with his older brother when I was in my early 20's.   He eventually became a pilot for one of the big name airlines and was gone all the time.  Haven't heard from him or about him in many years!!

I'm really curious to know if there are like millions of people having these type friendships or what?   I have many friends that claim they do not want relationships because they are happy with their life without a full time partner, but they would like to have sex.......  I know for a fact you can take care of yourself sexually with all the toys and such available!!  Just ask Tam about her new job!! lol haha   So maybe it's more than just the sexual part that people are seeking.  Maybe they need to feel that one on one closeness that sex gives you!

I, myself, sometimes think I would like to have a nice man to take me out to dinner and a movie.  Maybe even give me a back rub and if they really like me a foot rub!!  I can take care of myself in the sex department better than any man I've ever met (well, okay there was this 1 man.... wow)!  I've gotten myself so into the mind set that I will remain single for the remainder of my life that I can't imagine getting seriously involved with a man again.    I don't need a man for financial reasons, so why else would I need a man??  Now, does that sound like an OLD SOUTH GIRL talking or what?   lol  Other days I think I've lost my mind and what on earth am I going to do...... grow old and die alone???  Never enjoy the companionship of a man again?  I remember back in the day when it was such a wonderful feeling for the man in my life to buy me a present for NO REASON!!  When I was pregnant with my daughter, her Daddy, would scratch my back and my head every single night!!  He even painted my toe nails for me as my belly grew!!  He never wanted me to work and just wanted me to be happy!!  I was a dumb ass, but guess what.... that wonderful man and his beautiful wife of 16 years are two of my best friends in the world!!  My children and I had Thanksgiving dinner at their home last year!!  We have truly made a family with all the ex's and the kids and we truly love each other!!  Most people think we are crazy!!  We think we are smart because we created emotionally healthy children by being this way!!

So, back to me and me alone...... what's wrong with me that I've not dated in 3 years (since my husband died)?  Is it because I've had 5 marriages with 4 divorces and now I'm a widow?   Am I afraid to emotionally put myself out there because I just can't take more heartbreak?  Am I just jaded and cold hearted toward the idea of a relationship?  Do I miss having a man in my life other than my 13 year old son???  Just let me say in answer to that.... there is no better feeling in the world than to have a man that loves you and that you love hold you and hug you tight!! I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about that wonderfully comforting feeling of someone that loves you just hugging you tight and making you feel safe and sound! Unlike most people, the older I get the more it is about closeness and hugs and back rubs and such (notice I didn't mention giving back rubs and such lol)!!  It's just not so much about sex in my mind any more!!  When I really let myself think about it deeply I realize that I do miss having someone that makes me feel safe and protected..... I miss the feeling that I don't have to worry about anything because my big strong man will make it all ok.  I miss knowing that someone loves and cares about me so much that they will put up with my weirdly bizarre eclectic ass!!  I do wonder if this is the Southern Girl in me talking.  

When I was growing up the fairy tales pretty much indicated that a prince on a big beautiful white horse would come and save me and we would live happily ever after!!  Who started telling this bullshit to little girls!!!  Also, all the Elvis movies I watched as a little girl indicated to me that I would meet Elvis on a beach some where and he would love me forever!!  What the heck, he died when I was 17 before I had the chance to meet him!!

On the other hand, I can't imagine having to rearrange my home and my roommates for a man.  I can't imagine having to explain why or how I'm doing something to a man.  I can't imagine having to think about what to cook for dinner everyday because "MY MAN" will be hungry when he gets home!!  I can't imagine a man telling me I can't have 8 dogs in the house, if that's what I want!!

Jeez, I've gotten a little weirdly crazy while writing this blog post!!    I truly would love to get your comments and feedback on this blog post!!  I would like to know how the rest of the South feels about my views on relationships!!  Oh, and don't forget to give your view on Friends with Benefits!!





Thanks to all of you, my great friends!!
Nanette

P.S. I may still be feverish which would explain the ramblings of this particular blog post!!