My Heart Aches..... The Damage Caused by a Dysfunctional Family!

Oldest Son, Todd

Nanette, Jordan & Enola

Sisters Enola and Tracy

As the holidays approach I think about my parents more and more.  What makes a family so dysfunctional that they can turn their back on their own child and beautiful grandchildren?  What makes parents choose to stand by one child and turn their backs on another?  I can't imagine ever turning my back on either of my four children!  I've birthed a child, adopted a child and fostered two children and they are MY CHILDREN, no matter what they do in their lives!!  You can count on the fact that there is nothing my children could ever do that would make me turn my back on them!

I spent the first 50 years of my life trying to please EVERYONE especially my parents!  Yes, I've made mistakes and I've been married far too many times.  Yet, I've never done anything illegal.  I've never had a drug or alcohol problem.  I've never been a liar or a distrustful person!  I've bent over backwards my entire life to help others.  Not everyone that I've tried to help has appreciated it, but I still helped them out of the goodness of my heart.  There was a time or two that my kindess bit me on the butt, but still, I find myself trying to help others.

Where my parents are concerned I guess I am still that little girl from years ago and wonder every single day if they ever think about me.  Do they miss me?  Do they miss the granddaughter that used to be the light of their lives? Do they regret their actions toward me? Do they feel any remorse?  Do they feel anything toward me at all? Do they regret the lies they went around and told my Aunts about me in order to make their other daughter look good?  Do they love me?

I've been told by many that it is better for me not to have such negative and back stabbing people in my life!!  But making that little girl in my heart believe this is difficult!!  I went from having a Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, 5 Aunts, 21 first cousins, and numerous 2nd cousins to nothing except my brother, Clif!!  Thank God, my dear brother knows the truth and he still loves me and checks in with me from time to time.  Growing up with such a huge family was such a great thing.  I've always loved all my aunts, uncles, and cousins and looked forward to every single family reunion.  Now, I'm not invited to any of the get togethers because of my parents.  Every year there is a family get together between Thanksgiving and Christmas and I will not be invited.  There was a reunion this past summer and of course, I wasn't invited.  It hurts me so bad, but I have to live with it and carry on for my children.

Anyone who is reading this.... NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON YOUR CHILDREN OR OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS because you have no idea how much it hurts the one that is left out!!
Your family is family no matter what transpires in yours or their lives!  You can't imagine how hurtful it is to be the one that is left out!

I know this is a pathetic sounding blog post, but I needed to get this off my chest.  I hope all of you with family troubles will remember what I've said and always try to make things right with your children and other family members!
Nanette
The Crow's Nest

P.S.  If any of my cousins are reading this..... I do believe in God & I have never worshiped the Devil as my Mother and Sister went around telling everyone!!