Being Disabled!!

 Today I have a guest blogger.  Spritequeen and I met on a site for Tethered Cord Syndrome.  I'm so lucky that I've been able to walk without the help of crutches my entire life.  When I finally had the Tethered Cord surgery to cut my Spinal Cord loose from my tailbone the surgeon told me he couldn't believe I had functioned and worked my entire life.  My surgery was 5 hours and I was in a hospital bed for 4 days and night with morphine shots every 30 minutes.  I truly did not know if I would ever walk again!!

I am a walking miracle and so thankful for this fact.  My parents knew something was wrong with me by the age of two.  I was taken to a specialist and wore corrective shoes until the age of 13.  My left leg and foot did not fully develop and I've had constant pain since the age of 12.  I've never let it stop me.... yes I've had to slow down since surgery and the pain is excruciating but I keep on going!!  

You want to talk about dirty looks when I pull into a handicapped space..... wow do I get the looks.  I hate to walk with my cane and usually leave it in the SUV.  As a child I had other children ask me why my left leg was so skinny.... I was terrified to wear dresses for this reason!!  I overcame that by trying out for majorette in high school... never dreamed I would get it... but I did.  At first I was horrified to prance around in that sequin bathing suit looking uniform.  My band director, Carol Crosslin, gave me the encouragement to overcome my fears and taught me I had leadership abilities I didn't know I had.

I am a very lucky person and I never forget that fact!!

I hope you enjoy what my friend SpriteQueen has posted.  She was also born with a Tethered Spinal Cord.  I only know of one other person besides SpriteQueen and myself with this condition.

Thanks to all of you!

Nanette

The Crow's Nest

Disability Etiquette

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« Dancing In The Rain

Disability Etiquette

October 24, 2011 by causeitcanbedone

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If you were born “normal” (with no earth-shattering illnesses/afflictions), and you were raised in a “normal” family (again, without any visible physical or mental drama), seeing things that are NOT what you’re accustomed to can be a little scary.  For that reason, I’ve decided to put together a few little tips to help people interact with others who are “different”, so the experience can be a pleasant one for everyone involved.  I truly hope the following is helpful to people who are not accustomed to being around disabled individuals.
1.  Just because someone is “different”, it doesn’t mean they’re broken.  Apologizing about that difference is offensive to the recipient.  It drives home the fact that they are considered “less”.  Instead of commiserating with someone on their difference, look for something in common, or even better, something flattering.  Do you like their shirt or hairstyle?  Maybe a cool tattoo or piece of jewelry?  Take the focus away from the differences that you see.  Not everyone has to be an Olympic athlete, and most people who have disabilities are fine with that.  Yes, there ARE hard days, but they’re going to commiserate with friends or family members – not total strangers.  Just like a “normal” person would.
2. Make sure the compliment fits.  Do people compliment you on how you walk so NORMAL or how normal your hearing or sight is?  No.  The same applies to someone with a physical disability.  For all you know, that person on crutches has been on them since they learned to stand.  It’s no different for them than it is for a ‘normal’ person to walk without them.  Don’t make it an issue.  Now, if you KNOW that the person has been injured, and you’ve followed their recovery, and you know they’ve worked hard to overcome a challenge, by ALL MEANS compliment them for their efforts.  They’ve earned the praise!

3.  Don’t throw out guesses as to why they have whatever ailment.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked if I had Polio!  Ummm…1. I’ve had that shot! 2. I’m not that old, thank you very much! LOL  For MOST people a polite “Would you mind if I asked what happened?” goes a LOT farther than “What the heck happened to YOU? Get hit by a train, or something?!”  Personally, I think it’s weird to ask a total stranger in the first place, but if you REALLY HAVE TO KNOW, be polite.
4.  Repeat after me:  ”Even people in wheelchairs can be jerks”.  It’s true! Not everyone with a disability is an angel!  Ask my ex.  He’s got all KINDS of stories about what a witch I can be!  Automatically assuming that someone with a physical or mental problem is a perfect angel is lunacy on YOUR part.  With that being said, though, there’s no need to FEAR people with these differences, either.  Just because they may look a little different doesn’t mean they’re bad.  Bottom line, use the same caution you would use in approaching ANY new relationship/friendship.
5.  Don’t stare – and don’t let your kids stare! It’s just flat-out RUDE!  There’s NOTHING to gain from openly gawking at someone who is different.  Again, if there are questions you have that you literally can’t live without the answers to, then go ask.  But staring like that makes someone feel like they’re at police headquarters in the dark room with the spotlight shining on them – and they’ve done nothing wrong.  It’s TERRIBLY uncomfortable.  There’s NO need to make someone else feel like that.
6. Don’t make assumptions on ability levels.  It’s simply not your place to decide for someone what they are, or are not, capable of doing.  Remember the quote: ‘The person who says “it can’t be done” is liable to be interrupted by someone doing it.’  
7. Don’t assume ANYTHING.  Every disability can affect every person who has one in a different way.  Do NOT assume that someone with a mental impairment doesn’t have the capacity to understand.  They may not be able to SHOW it, but that doesn’t mean they don’t GET it.  Don’t assume that someone with a physical issue can’t do something just because YOU don’t feel like you could do it in the same scenario.
8.  People with disabilities have babies, too.  I’ll be the proof of that – I’ve had three!  Just because the factory looks a little different, doesn’t mean that the conveyor belt’s not working – if ya catch my drift!  And, if you really want to know, it happens in the same way OTHER babies get delivered to their mommy’s bellies!  If you DON’T know that…I’m afraid I can’t help you there! LOL.  Google, maybe?? LOL  If you really want to be WOW’ed by that, be inspired that their kids (hopefully!) grow up “normally” and don’t become serial killers or other such TRULY scary people!
9. If you really can’t have a NORMAL conversation or interaction with someone who is physically or mentally different, just keep your mouth shut.  It really IS ok – and, actually, preferred.  Trust me, if you get all antsy and awkward, YOU’RE going to be the one looking silly – not them.
10.  Golden Rule.  Need I say more?  Treat people how YOU would expect to be treated in their shoes.  You DON’T have to cater to their every whim.  That only creates spoiled/dependent brats – just like it would any other capable person.  But, you DO have to play nice, too.  It’s all about common courtesy for EVERYONE.
P.S.  If you’d like to read some of the crazy things people have said to me (and people think I’M weird?!) check this out!  It’s funny, I promise!  (Well, unless you’re the one that said it to me.  THEN, congratulations! You’ve made it onto my “weird people of the world” page!  It’s kind of right up there with the ‘people of Walmart’ for me!)

I've Got The Music In Me!!

(Writer/Recording Artist Tim Bloodworth and Nanette)


I'VE GOT THE MUSIC IN ME!!  Remember as a teenager and young person how important music was to your life?  Music was a HUGE part of my life.  I sang in the church choir from the time I was fourteen and I played flute in the band from the age of 10.  From my earliest memories music was a part of my life.  My first favorite song was I Wanna Hold Your Hand.  I don't know what year it came out, but, I couldn't have been very old.  I was born in 1961.  After that it was Hey, Hey, We're the Monkeys!!!!  Not too long after that I was begging Mama to buy Tiger Beat Magazines for me so I could read all about David Cassidy, The Jackson's and other various pop stars at the time.  Whatever my parents listened to I knew all the words.  Whether it was Charlie Rich, Anne Murray, Johnny Paycheck, or Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass I was listening and I knew all the words to all the songs.  I remember being 10 years old on the school bus and all the older kids would get me to sing Jeremiah Was A Bull Frog.  I was the little kid always singing my heart out.  I graduated high school in 1979 and it seemed that every song on the radio touched me personally.  I can remember singing Dancing Queen as I was getting ready for Prom.  Reunited was just perfect whenever my boyfriend and I would have a little break up.  And who could forget PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOY!!  Wow!!  I love 70's & 80's music and still remember most all the words to most all the songs.  Even my 23 year old daughter absolutely loves 80's music.  We love to Karaoke and sing music from the 80's.

Sometime during the late 80's or early 90's I forgot about music.  I don't know when or how it happened, but I know for a fact it happened.  One day I turned on the radio and I didn't know any of the words or any of the songs except oldies.  I didn't even have a desire to learn the words to the songs.  I was no longer involved in church so there was no choir to sing in.  I had no desire to purchase albums.... I was dead musically....

That's what work, kids, divorce, hard times and just plain life will do to you if you let it!!  As a teenager and during my twenties I really listened to music and I learned the words and I let them soothe me through life's ups and downs.  Why I stopped doing that I do not know for sure.  I do know if I had it to do over again I would NEVER let the music stop in my life!!

I've got the music in me again and it's never going away!!  I'm playing catch up on learning thousands of songs that I've missed during the past 20 years.  This time last year I tried Karaoke for the first time and for those that know me..... I LOVE IT!!  Don't believe it.... catch the Butch and Blondie Karaoke Show at Hide Away in Elkton, TN every Friday and Saturday night!!  Also, I have another involvement in music that I'm keeping to myself right now!!  Just don't be surprised if you see me sitting in the audience at the County Music Awards in a year or two or three!!  Thank you, you guys are great!!!

To My Daughter On Her 23rd Birthday......

I remember exactly what I was doing 23 years ago today.  On Sunday the 25th your Dad and I had driven Cyndi and Wendy back to Lacy's Springs late in the afternoon.  That evening Cyndi called all excited to tell us the moon was full.  See, your MaMa Byrd kept saying I would go into labor during the full moon.  Your Dad and I ran outside with our little long haired Dachshund, Link, and I pretended to howl at the moon.  We went to bed and I woke up at 3:00am on Monday Sept. 26, 1988 and knew I was in labor.  I jumped in the shower and shaved my legs and styled my hair before I got your Daddy up. Bet that is no surprise to you, Enola.   I can remember very clearly driving through Huntsville around 4:30am that morning and how there was hardly any traffic.  I remember being so excited and thinking of how our lives were about to change forever.  I could hardly wait to hold you in my arms even though I was terrified of child birth.  It was a long and hard labor, but you have been worth a million times more pain than I went through to have you.  I remember Daddy telling me to breathe and to focus on the door knob.  I'm sure you can guess what I wanted to tell Daddy to do with that door knob.  You and I both went into distress and I can remember fading away and thinking I was going to die without holding my beautiful baby!  You didn't make your grand arrival until 7:41pm and what a beauty your were!!  Enola you were the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on.  You have made my life a complete joy and I know your Daddy and Lori both agree with me.  These 23 years have flown by for me sweetheart and I am so proud of the young woman you have become.  You are still the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on.  Happy Birthday Baby NoNo!

Happiness is Contagious

Saturday was the 3rd anniversary of my spinal cord surgery.  I actually had Tethered Cord Syndrome (google it for info) and was told I would end up paralyzed from the waist down if I didn't have the surgery.  Of course, the surgery was dangerous and could have paralyzed me instantly.  I had an 18 to 24 month recovery period.  It's been a long and hard road since that day three years ago.

What I have learned from my experience is life is precious and we all tend to take things and people for granted.  Life is short and we had better get up off our butts and live it to the fullest.  If we have a dream NOW is the time to pursue that dream because we are not getting any younger!  Life is too short to go around sad and all down in the dumps.  Get up every morning and put a smile on your face whether you feel like smiling or not.  I think 99% of the time that fake smile will become real by midday.  Always have a kind word and a smile for the people you come in contact with.  Whether it's the meter reader or your neighbor... smile and say something nice.  Happiness breeds happiness!  It is contagious, I promise!

I would bet that everyone who sees me on a regular basis thinks I am the happiest person in the world.  No one knows the heart break and difficult times I have experienced in my life.  If you knew, you would probably think I am insane for smiling all the time.  Have I ever felt like giving up?  I've come close but, have never let myself cross that line and I NEVER WILL!  I have too many things I want to do and to experience to let anything get me down!!

I will never live long enough to create and/or sew all the creations I have floating around in my head.  Since I was a young child I have loved to sing.  I forgot to sing for about 20 years and now I am relearning something I've always loved.  I can't tell you how much joy I get from sewing up something or making jewelry and giving it to someone special.  I can't tell you how good it feels to me to get up and sing a song during Karaoke and have people clap for me.  There is nothing better in the world than helping someone who is having a little trouble in their life or they are really down and out and you bring them a little happiness for a moment.

We never know what a smile or a little word of kindness can mean to a stranger or a friend!  I would love to hear from my readers.... tell me, do you smile on a regular basis?  Have you had someone smile and say kind words to you and instantly it made you feel better?

Nanette
The Crow's Nest

9/11 America Will Never Forget!!

Enola and her Dad, Jim Byrd (my ex-husband) stopped by this morning.  They were on a bike ride today in honor of 9/11!!



I was a young child when the Vietnam War ended and didn't really understand what it was all about.  My daughter's father, Jim Byrd, was actually in the Navy at the end of the Vietnam war. He was just a 19 or 20 year old kid!! His dear Mother, told me she lived in fear back then that her Son would be sent to Vietnam.  Thankfully, it never happened.  If I am remembering correctly, Jim was on the runway about to take off headed to Vietnam when the war was stopped! 

My dear grandmother,  Enola Crouch, lost a son during World War II, my Uncle Clif Crouch!!  I don't remember Pa Crouch ever speaking of my Uncle Clif or WWII.  However, he did tell stories about being in WWI.  I remember him telling me about riding his Harley motorcycle from Alabama to Maryland.  He apparently loved his motor cycle and named his 2nd son Clifton Harley Crouch.  Mama Crouch would NEVER watch anything on television that had to do with war!!  I can't imagine the heartbreak my Grandparents suffered when they lost Uncle Clif during WWII.  I guess that is where I developed my fear of war.   Also, I've been a vivid dreamer my entire life and I've been chased in my dreams by the WWII Nazi Germans!!  I've had someone suggest to me that perhaps I may have lived before as  a Jew back in those times!!  Don't know about that, but these dreams were going on as early in my life as I can remember!!  

 I clearly remember Desert Storm and how terrified I was.  My daughter was a baby and I was scared to death for our Country.   Fortunately, it was a very quick war and I was able to put it behind me and feel safe in the USA.  When 9/11 happened it changed my life forever and I'm sure the rest of America feels the same way!!  It has had a dramatic effect on my children who were 13 and 3 at the time, especially my little boy.  Jordan is now terrified of war  and has a horrible fear of having to fight in a war.  As the Mother of a boy, I am terrified my son will have to fight in a war one day.  I pray that America never has to start drafting our young men for war!!

The day of 9/11 I was in shock as I'm sure the rest of our Great Nation was.  I think I was a zombie for at least two weeks as I stayed glued to the television.  I can't remember exactly how long it was after 9/11 that the military planes started flying over my house at night.  I remember the first time it happened was during the middle of the night and we all woke up terrified and ran outside to look up in the sky.  I'll never forget the look of terror on Enola's face (she was 13 at the time).  It seems like there were a hundred planes, but I'm sure it was much less!!  The noise was deafening!!  I felt as if my nightmares were coming true and it definitely reinforced my feeling that our lives would never be the same in the USA!  I've lost count of how many times I woke up to the sound of those military planes flying overhead, but I will never forget the feeling of terror!!  After 9/11 going to an airport was kind of spooky and scary.  I couldn't believe I was seeing soldiers with guns policing the airports.  I was nearly strip searched because I forgot my pill box was in my bra with my days medication!!   I was ready to run out of the airport screaming at the top of my lungs!!

It's hard to believe 9/11 was ten years ago today!!  I find myself once again glued to the television with tears in my eyes just thinking of what all our country has been through.  The young men and women of our country who lost parents in the Twin Towers.... hearing them speak 10 years later about their loss is heartbreaking!  The parents who lost children.... The men and women who lost their spouses to 9/11.  Now, all our military men and women that have lost their lives!!  It's almost too difficult for my tender heart to think about. 


Enola and I are going to New York City for five days in December.  We are planning on visiting Ground Zero and paying our respects to our fallen brothers and sisters.  I know it will be a very emotional experience.  I've not been to NYC since 9/11 and can't imagine the Twin Towers not being there!

Have all of you felt dramatically changed since 9/11?  Have you lost that comfortable feeling that the USA is untouchable?  Do  you perhaps feel safer because of Homeland Security??  I would really love to hear from all of you about how 9/11 has affected your life and the lives of your loved ones!!  Thanks to all of you for reading my ramblings!!  I love and appreciate each and everyone of you!

Sincerely,
Nanette




P.s.  My daughter Enola is named after my grandmother, Enola Crouch.  My brother, Clif Crow, is named after my Uncle, Clif Crouch!

I dressed Patriotic Friday when I hung my flags on the front porch of the Crow's Nest!

The Buzzards Are Circling!!

Today is Labor Day!!  Back when I was in school that meant I would be starting the new school year the next day.  My 13 year old son has been back in school for a month now!!  Seems that summers are getting shorter and shorter for the school aged kids.

To me Labor Day means I can no longer wear white until next Easter.  Does anyone still follow that rule?  I'm not talking about white t-shirts or blouses, just shoes, dresses, shorts, and pants!!  I think in the big fashion world they don't really follow this rule, but here, in the South I believe most of us women wouldn't even consider wearing white after today!!  I've certainly instilled this in my daughter and she wouldn't dare wear white after Labor Day or before Easter!!

I have to wonder where this rule began.  I just know I was raised that it's not proper to wear white after Labor Day.  I love to wear white and I'm glad in the winter it is okay to wear "winter white".  For those of you reading and wondering what winter white is.... basically it is off white!! lol

I can remember as a child when girls and women ALWAYS wore dresses to church.  When I was about 14 or so we were told it was ok to wear dress pants to church on Wednesday nights.  These days you see women wearing pants and sometimes jeans to church on Sunday mornings.  I guess I am a little old fashioned..... that just doesn't seem right to me.  I know what you wear to church isn't what it's all about, but somehow, it just seems disrespectful to me!! lol

When I got up and took my little dogs out to potty Friday morning there were about 15 buzzards circling over my house and property.  It kind of freaked me out!!  I started wondering if they knew something I didn't know or if they were warning me of something.  Yeah, I know that sounds crazy!!  I started trying to remember if I had heard any old wives tales about buzzards when I was growing up, but couldn't come up with a thing.   I finally told myself they were paying their respects to my classmate, Tim Stewart, whose funeral I was about to go to!!  Thankfully, by the time I left for Athens, they were circling over my neighbors home.  Maybe there wasn't enough road kill and they were just doing a neighborhood search!!

Over the past couple of weeks I've walked out and noticed a mama deer and her baby standing in the field right next to my house.  I've seen them about three times and wished I had my camera to take a picture.  Last Friday as we were headed to The Hide Away for Karaoke we saw several deer just standing and looking at us.  We were able to stop, roll down the window and photograph them.  I want to tell them deer season is approaching and to run and hide!!

I hope everyone is having a fantastic Labor Day weekend!!  I'm rather enjoying the sound of the rain on my tin roof.  I think I will just sit here and read all day or maybe sew a little and enjoy the sound of the rain!

Wish Tam had zoomed in so you could see the deer a little better.  They just stood there and posed!

East Limestone Teachers of the 70's!!

(50th Birthday Cake with my Senior Year Majorette Picture on it!!  Top of cake says "No No Nanette" and bottom of cake says "Fabulous & Fifty"!  A great surprise from my daughter, Enola!)

I recently had the opportunity to thank one of my teachers for the impact she has had on me throughout my life and the confidence she instilled in me.  I truly believe in my heart that this particular teacher  showed me I had talent and  leadership ability which prepared me for my adult life and my career.   Would I be a different person without having been under the tutelage of this great teacher for 8 years (5th through 12th grades)?  Maybe not completely different, but I believe without the dedication and  confidence instilled in me by this teacher I would  not have had the ability to accomplish so much or handle lifes ups and downs without completely losing my mind (notice the use of the word completely)!  This  teacher taught me it was  okay to be nervous and she helped me learn to laugh at myself during those BIG, BAD AND SCARY TRY-OUTS!  Trust me, she was a tough teacher and expected the best from all of her students but, she also taught us humor and a great love for music!!   Yes, I am talking about Carol Crosslin, the greatest band director to ever teach at East Limestone.

Kids these days seem to think band is a "nerdy" class to take and what a mistake they are making.  They can't imagine the feeling of excitement when you know you are a member of  the BEST BAND IN THE COUNTY, it's a home game and we (the band) are waiting to make our grand entrance.  As a member of this band you are closely watching Ms. Crosslin, just waiting for her to give the signal.  Your heart is pounding with excitement and about to burst with pride all at the same time.   As you are marching through the parking lot to make your grand entrance on the football field to the beat of the drummers you feel like you are part of something great!!  As half-time approaches you are once again closely watching Ms. Crosslin for that signal to quietly get in line for "the Big Show".  I always liked it when the other band performed first because, I knew we were going to blow them off the field with our performance.   When it was finally our turn to perform the East Limestone fans in the bleachers would go wild!!  Even as an adult I can still remember that incredible feeling of pride.  Another thing I will never forget is East Limestone Band marching in the Inaugural Parade in Montgomery, AL in January 1979.

Marching Band was extremely hard work and it also took up many days of summer vacation but, it was more than worth it!  Concert Band was where my nervousness came about.  You had to TRY-OUT for concert band and then Ms. Crosslin would decide what chair you would be in.  First and second chair for each instrument meant you were pretty darned good!!  I'm amazed I didn't get last chair every year because I was so nervous I would be trembling.  Heck, I think the first year or two I actually cried!!  Yes, seriously I can remember being so scared I cried!    It still amazes me that Ms. Crosslin was so patient with me  year after year when I would walk in for try- outs shaking like a leaf!!  I know the last couple of years of try-outs she would see me walking in the door and would laughingly start shaking and pretending she was playing a flute.  By not getting irritated and impatient with me and instead joking with me about my nervousness she made me realize it was just a part of life for some of us (at least us nervous types).   She taught me that laughter is a great medicine!!

Now, earlier I spoke of the wonderful feeling before marching out onto that football field!!  Multiply that by 10 and you've got the feeling of pride when you are at State Competition for concert band and get all top scores!!   I can still close my eyes and see Carol Crosslin right before we would perform.....  she would be looking at us and giving little signals and looks of encouragement.  You could actually see the spirit of the music coursing through her veins as she would direct us and lead us through competition.  You could see the look of pride on her face when we would finish a piece perfectly!  The bus ride back home from Tuscaloosa was so filled with excitement and the feeling of accomplishment.  We would arrive at school and walk into that band room and a dozen roses would be waiting on Ms. Crosslin, compliments of our great principal Paul Hargrove.


When I sent my message to Carol Crosslin last week on Face Book she responded  and I want to share a little of her response with my readers:   I am so glad that you found the wonder in yourself that I saw in you and so many of my students. I always tried to take each one of you where you were and help you move into security with yourself. Whether it was on the field or in concert, I wanted you to let your light shine.


I want to say that I was lucky to have had other wonderful teachers.... Mr. Fleming, Ms. Barksdale, and Mrs. Hargrove, along with the greatest Principal, Paul Hargrove!!!  I feel sure my daughter Enola is yet to be so strongly impacted by one of her teachers.  Jordan, my son, is in the 8th grade and I fear that he will not have from his teachers what I had from mine at East Limestone.  I'm not in anyway saying teachers of today are inferior!  I simply think you are one lucky kid if you run across a "Carol Crosslin" and have the experience of such a teacher as we did in the 70's.

Nanette
The Crow's Nest






P.s. For those of you who wonder why I sing Proud Mary every single weekend during Karaoke..... it's Ms. Crosslins fault!!