Last night on face book one of my friends posted Leave the drama at the door, I don't have time for it!! I live the way I live and if you don't like me, then frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn:) Another friend posted this as a response: It has taken me a long time, Donna, to get to where I am, but I think you have reached the spot earlier in life than I did ! You can't live your life for others.....if others don't make you happy........distance yourself from them ! Well, this really hit home with me and I posted next....YES! YES! YES! It was so beat into my head growing up "What would the neighbors think?" I've lived most of my life worried about what everyone else thought about me and what I was doing!! I no longer give a damn and I am going to enjoy the 2nd half of my life.... no matter what anyone else thinks!! Even when it takes removing yourself from loved ones you have to do it!! Immediately started writing this blog last night as this was all going on!
WHAT WILL THE NEIGHBORS THINK? Did anyone else grow up having those 5 words preached to you and beat into your head? If my parents said it one time they said it a million. I can remember when I was about 13 or 14 and someone at school was having a party. I actually think it was Denise Barksdale. I'll never forget when I asked for permission to go to the party that's all I heard WHAT WILL THE NEIGHBORS THINK. I can vividly remember thinking to myself that the neighbors would think it perfectly normal because their kids would probably be going to the party.
You had better believe I let my daughter have a party at that age and she had my permission to go to parties. I always made sure I knew the parents and this, that, and the other, but I was not going to mentally warp my kid like my parents did to me. Maybe my parents did to me what was done to them as children.... my father? maybe, but I know my mother wasn't raised like that! Maybe that mentality was a sign of the times and everyone else worried constantly what the neighbors, family, and the rest of the community thought about them and their kids, and hey even their dogs!!
I can say without a doubt that having that beat into my head my entire childhood had a huge effect on me mentally and emotionally. I've worried myself to death throughout my life trying to do everything right and not make the neighbors think badly of me. I was in property management for 16 years and every homeowners association I worked for I jumped through hoops wanting to please them 100%. My 1st divorce I was worried sick about what everyone was going to think of me. Even my 4th divorce I was worried about what others would think. Let me add that my parents disowned me for a period of time when I divorced the first time!! I wasn't allowed to see my younger siblings, either. Was that the right thing to do? Not in my opinion!! My children could murder someone in cold blood and it would never make me turn my back on them. If I love you, then I love you good or bad!
At this point in life I could care less what anyone thinks of me and the decisions I have made in life!! I have learned to joke about my sideline career of getting married and divorced. Yes, that is still am embarrassment to me, but not to the point that it makes me worry when I should be sleeping.
I do not pass judgment on how my friends, neighbors, or anyone else lives their lives, spends their money, or raises their kids. I refuse to pass judgment on others and if they want to pass judgment on me then they can kiss my butt!! Everything I have in life I have earned myself. My mistakes have been my own and my accomplishments have been earned by ME!!
Was anyone else raised like this? Have any of you lived your adult lives worried about what everyone else thinks of you? I would like to hear your stories!!
Thanks,
Nanette
The Crow's Nest
P.S. I've always tried to conduct myself as a prim and proper Southern Belle in life and business. I've tried to be everything my parents expected!! Now that I am retired and can no longer work I am actually living for the first time just for myself and my kids. I have a little nose piercing. I have a red, white and blue star tattooed on my right lower back. I have a beautiful fairy tattooed on my right shoulder blade. And this past year after being disowned, once again, by my parents I had a Crow and crescent moon tattooed on the inside of my right wrist!! I am rocking on with my life!!
