The Trials and Tribulations of the Daughter of Nanette Crow

 

I asked my beautiful daughter, Enola, to write a segment for my blog!!  The apple didn't fall far from the tree as they say....... or in my words.... the Baby Byrd didn't fall far from The Crows Nest! 

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, and all that jazz…  I’m assuming that most of the people who read my Mother’s blog went to high school with her, so you know something about her and would probably find anything I have to say about her hilarious because no one- and I mean no one can shed a more humorous light on Nanette Crow than I can.  And, Dear Readers, you might have known her “back in the day” or maybe not, but I’ve had the last twenty-three years with her, so I know the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Most of you know or have heard about me, Enola, her pride and joy.  Yes, I’m infamous for letting my Mother hump the railing at Target while I scrounged for my keys (If any one of you had seen it, you wouldn’t want to be associated with the woman humping the rail at Target either), so get those shocked looks off your faces now!  If any of you knew me, you wouldn’t be surprised because while I’ll do almost anything for almost anybody, I will not take shit from anyone and I’m sarcastic and I have LOOKs that make you want to cry (ask cresentcrow44).  So, that’s about all you need to know about me.

 Growing up in the Crow family is not the easiest task one can take on.  They’re hard headed, stuck in their ways, and love conditionally (just ask Mom about her parents).  Life could be stressful and judgmental.  Fortunately for me, I may look like the Crow side of the family, but I have my Dad’s thought processes, which helped keep me sane when dealing with the adult children (Moms parents and sister) in our ex-family.  But, one thing I can say for Mom, is she always tried to keep from mentally warping me like her parents did to her.

It was she and I for many years before the heaps of marriages came through that she has already joked about.  I was her little angel.  She would sew and I would play with Barbies and go to dance practice.  I had many different families with all my girlfriends moms and then of course, I had Tammy (Turpen-Bell) and Tyler that were always around (Tammy, if you read this, please remind Tyler the reason he exists is because of me.  I’m just saying.).  I was never alone.  We had it good for a long time…

The Drink 

 One story I always love, was when I was younger and Mom always told me not to spill my drink at a restaurant.  “Don’t set it at the edge of the table, Enola.  You’ll spill it.”  I never once spilled my drink at the table in a restaurant, but guess what?  Mom did.  From then on she was a little easier on me about not spilling my drink. 

Randoms

 Whenever she did my makeup for dance recitals, my eyes would tear up because it tickled so badly when she applied the eye shadow.  I would squirm and nearly ruin my makeup from my eyes tearing.  Well, now that Mom can't see so well up close I like to do her makeup for her and guess what...... Mom's eyes tear up now and I really have no sympathy for her!!

For years, my room  if not decorated in pink was decorated in red, white, and blue or stars and moons. Maybe that's why she has a red, white, and blue star on her butt!

 

My sixteenth birthday present from her was my first tattoo.

           

The Subfloor 

A couple of months ago, Mom needed a new floor in the kitchen and dining room (of her 1900 Victorian) and before the boys took over the job, she and TamI were working on it.  The only way to get to the bathroom was to go through the dining room that had no floor (I mean you had to step down 2 or 3 feet into dirt).  And God bless my Mom, but with her back problems her tripping over her own feet is a pretty frequent occurrence.  And I kept telling her if she wasn’t careful one of these nights when trying to walk to the bathroom, she was going to fall backwards into that damn missing floor and we’d all get up the next morning and see nothing but my Mom’s legs just a kicking.  Well, it didn’t happen at night, which would have been a better excuse because, hello, it’s dark, but it happened in broad daylight while she and Tami were working on it.

The Scooters

 I know she has mentioned her scooters s a couple of times in her blog.  You see I  wanted to buy a scooter for years and I finally had a good paying job so I could afford it, so I got one.  And in my Mother’s typical fashion, I had one, so she wanted one (don’t try and deny it, Mom).  So, she gets this itch and I do NOT think it’s a good idea because her reflexes are shit now.  But next thing I know, she’s buying two scooters (One for her and one for Tami) from the hottie salesman at Midway Cycle Center and I am on the verge of a heart attack.  I had been trying to tell her that it’s not as easy as it looked and she would need practice.  But oh no!  “Enola, I rode bikes as a child and I was on the back of your father’s bike for years.  I know what I’m doing.” 

 So, we can only get Tami’s home since I refuse to let Mom ride hers from Hwy 72 all the way to Tennessee (I rode it... not her).  So, we get it home and its Mom’s turn to try it out.  As soon as she hops on I remind her not to turn the handlebars to steer and she looks at me like I’m from outer space.  “No, Mom, you don’t turn the handles to turn, you lean with your body.”  She insists that she has it and she hits that throttle.  Pretty quickly she realizes she’s not comfortable leaning and shoots through the neighbor’s yard, across the street, and into the other neighbors yard across the street.  And there’s me plus three other people all running after her screaming, “BRAKE!  Hit the brake!”  I TOLD YOU SO, MOM!  Now that she has gotten over leaning and wanting to put her foot down when she turns, she’s getting much better.  Still makes me sick to think of her out on the road go 60mph, but what is the daughter of Nanette Crow to do??!!...

In conclusion I want to say that in this family, she will definitely be the death of me, not the other way around.

Enola Byrd, 

Daughter of Nanette Crow